We live in a time when news travels at the speed of a click. A story breaks, opinions explode, and before the dust settles, millions of people have already picked a side. It would be encouraging if those positions were built on verified facts, but often they’re not. Instead, they’re shaped by something more powerful than truth itself: the social glue of belonging.
A Story That Stopped Me Cold
Recently, I read a breaking news report that angered me. The media shared details immediately—without taking time to verify the facts—because ratings and clicks mattered more than accuracy. The half-baked story took off, fueling activists who staked clear positions on the issue before anyone truly knew what had happened.
This morning, I bumped into someone who brought up the story. Since I had access to the actual facts from industry insiders, I began to explain what had really transpired. BLAM! Before I could finish, the person yelled at me. I tried to clarify, but I wasn’t allowed.
Why? Because their opinion wasn’t anchored in truth—it was cemented by their social circle. Their friends had already taken a stand. To question the narrative meant risking social rejection, and belonging outweighed accuracy.
The ripple effects were staggering. Activists were boycotting, social media arguments flared, and tempers ran hot—all based on false information. An industry insider confided that they had no idea how to slow the emotional rampage or get people back on the same page. Instead, they were forced into triage mode, just hoping to capture a shred of reality.
It got worse. One of the three companies involved had to build an entirely new publicity campaign that treated the falsehood as if it were true—because that’s where the public conversation had already landed. It sounds absurd, but there’s wisdom hidden there: sometimes the only way to lead people back to reality is to start where they are and slowly walk them across the bridge you build into truth.
Why Truth Often Loses
That experience hammered home a difficult reality: truth doesn’t always carry as much weight as community. People may claim they value facts, but when those facts threaten the acceptance of their social group, most will hold tighter to the group than to reality.
This is confirmation bias on steroids. We don’t just look for information that validates our perspective—we look for information that validates our tribe. And once we’ve socially reinforced a belief, even airtight evidence can feel like a threat.
Familiarity Feels Like Truth
Another reason false stories gain traction is repetition. The more often something is said—especially by trusted friends or favorite voices—the more “true” it feels. Familiarity breeds credibility, even if the information is wrong. That’s why fact-checks and corrections rarely travel as far or as fast as the initial story. Once a narrative is familiar and socially reinforced, it feels like common sense.
Why Facts Alone Don’t Change Minds
We’ve all tried it—dropping statistics or news articles into a heated debate, only to be dismissed or attacked. The problem isn’t always the strength of the evidence; it’s the lack of trust between the messenger and the audience. Facts are abstract. Relationships are personal. And when truth threatens to fracture relationships, it often loses.
This is why shouting louder doesn’t work. Correcting someone in front of their peers can backfire, because it doesn’t just challenge their opinion—it threatens their standing in the group.
The Path Back to Truth
So, what do we do when social glue outweighs truth? We start by recognizing that people are relational beings first and rational beings second. If we want truth to stick, it has to travel through trust.
Here are a few practical approaches:
- Lead With Respect. People listen when they feel respected, even in disagreement.
- Build Trust Before Sharing Facts. A trusted voice can carry hard truths where a stranger’s voice can’t.
- Find Shared Values. Frame truth in ways that connect with what the other person already values—safety, freedom, fairness, or community.
- Plant Seeds, Don’t Throw Stones. Change rarely happens in the heat of debate. It happens later, when a planted idea starts to grow.
- Start Where People Are. As frustrating as it sounds, sometimes the only way forward is to meet people inside their existing narrative and carefully build a bridge toward reality.
People Believe What Helps Them Belong
The story I experienced reminded me that truth, on its own, isn’t always enough. Social belonging can be stronger than facts, louder than reason, and more persuasive than evidence. People don’t just believe what they think is true—they believe what helps them belong.
If we want to see truth prevail, we can’t only correct lies. We must cultivate relationships, build trust, and patiently guide people across the bridge from where they are to what’s real. Because in the end, truth matters—but only if we can carry it together.
Copyright © 2025 by CJ Powers
CJ's Corner 