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September 5, 2025

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collaboration, communication, Connection

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A Gig of Conversations: Lessons from Bob Schmidgall

Bob Schmidgall was one of the most incredible speakers I’ve ever heard. I admired his ability to connect with people and studied him often. One of his greatest strengths was speaking in a way that reached blue-collar, white-collar, and gold-collar workers—all at once. Each listener walked away believing Bob was speaking directly to them.

If you haven’t heard those terms, they’re general categories of labor:

  • Blue Collar: Manual laborers and skilled tradespeople.
  • White Collar: Office and professional workers.
  • Gold Collar: Highly skilled and valued specialists, often in cutting-edge fields like AI.

When Bob made a key point, he often shared it three times. But he never sounded repetitive. Instead, each sentence was crafted for a different group. He wasn’t restating; he was expounding—layering meaning so each person heard it in a way they could relate to.

The result? Everyone left the room feeling as though his talk was written just for them. He was relatable, informative, humorous, and full of great stories. Out of the hundreds of speakers I’ve listened to, Bob remains in my top five.

At some point, I realized something important: no amount of study would turn me into Bob. But that wasn’t the point. Bob had his gift. What I needed to see was that all of us actually speak far more than he ever did. Over a lifetime, we will likely have the equivalent of a gigabyte of conversations—not just spoken words, but emails, texts, social DMs, and even old-fashioned snail mail.

Each exchange adds another “file” to our personal archive. Some are blurry images best deleted, but others are crisp, high-resolution moments worth revisiting.

And that leads to the real question: if you’re going to spend that much time talking, typing, and connecting—why not upgrade your conversations so they actually build trust, opportunity, and collaboration?

Here are five simple Conversation Upgrades I’ve found that can transform ordinary chatter into meaningful dialogue.

Upgrade 1: Curiosity Beats Cleverness

Instead of prepping stories to tell, prepare questions to ask. Dale Carnegie put it best: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than in two years by trying to get other people interested in you” (How to Win Friends and Influence People).

A practical way to stay curious? Think about their Family, Work, Recreation, and Dreams (the F-W-R-D framework). Ask about their kids’ hobbies, the wildest thing that happened at work this month, the new restaurant they tried, or the goal that lights them up. When you anticipate their story, you can’t help but lean in—and that anticipation is contagious.

Upgrade 2: Turn on Charisma Mode

Charisma isn’t some magic dust—it’s built from presence, warmth, and confidence. Olivia Fox Cabane (The Charisma Myth) shows how teachable this is.

  • Presence: Give someone the sense that there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.
  • Warmth: Try the “flooding smile”—pause, take them in, then let a genuine smile slowly spread. It feels personal, not pasted on.
  • Confidence: Strong posture and a few thoughtful pauses tell the room you’re comfortable in your own skin.

When those three align, people don’t just hear your words—they feel your attention.

Upgrade 3: Add a Twist of Surprise

Boring conversations fade. Playful ones stick. Instead of standard answers, toss in a curveball:

  • Instead of “I’m from Chicago,” say: “I’m from Chicago, where pizza is deep enough to need a lifeguard.”
  • Instead of “I’m a consultant,” say: “I’m a consultant who’s learned more from coffee spills in boardrooms than from MBA textbooks.”

It’s not about impressing—it’s about giving others something fun to react to, like setting up the first line of an improv scene.

Upgrade 4: Ask for Feelings, Not Just Facts

Charles Duhigg’s Supercommunicators highlights a Harvard study of speed dating conversations: the people who landed second dates asked emotion-driven questions, not fact-gathering ones.

Swap:

  • “Where are you from?” → “What do you love most about your hometown?”
  • “What do you do?” → “What makes your work exciting—or exhausting?”
  • “What did you do this weekend?” → “What was the highlight of your weekend?”

By aiming for Dreams, Elevated moments, and Passions (D-E-P), you’ll unlock stories that reveal what matters most. That’s the difference between polite small talk and real connection.

Upgrade 5: Let People Know They Landed

Everyone wants to feel heard. Psychiatrist Mark Goulston (Just Listen) says even small acknowledgments—nodding, “mm-hmms,” or paraphrasing—make a huge impact.

When someone shares, don’t just reply with “Wow, that’s crazy.” Echo a detail that mattered: “That’s hilarious—after all that effort, the IKEA shelf was upside down the whole time.”

It signals: I didn’t just hear you. I understood you. That’s the glue of collaboration.

Why These Upgrades Matter

Each “conversation upgrade” builds on the 3Cs framework that I’ve developed:

  • Communication: Clearer, warmer, and more engaging.
  • Connection: Deeper emotional resonance—because you’re asking what really matters.
  • Collaboration: When people feel seen and valued, they bring their best ideas to the table.

Conversations aren’t background noise—they’re the raw material of relationships. And when you upgrade them, you upgrade your influence, your opportunities, and your impact.

It’s Time to Upgrade

You’ve got a gig of conversations ahead. Most people will let theirs auto-save in the background. But you? You can choose to upgrade yours—turning them into meaningful files worth archiving.

Start small: one curious question, one genuine smile, one playful twist. Then watch how fast your communication, connection, and collaboration grow.

Copyright 2025 by CJ Powers

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May 30, 2025

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The Story of Empathy: How Narratives Connect Us

It’s easy to assume that empathy is something we’re born with—or not. But in truth, empathy is often learned, and storytelling is one of the most effective teachers.

Stories allow us to live someone else’s experience, if only for a moment. They give us access to emotions we might not otherwise understand, and perspectives we might never have considered. Whether through a novel, a film, or a story told around a dinner table, narratives create a safe space where we can feel deeply, reflect personally, and begin to understand another’s reality.

My goal with the short film AI KNOWS is to help tweens consider information about AI versus wisdom that they will eventually have to face. Ideally, they need to address the topic with their family, who may or may not be able to speak to the relevant issues—the reason my film is an important conversation starter.

The Science of Stories

Neuroscientists have discovered that our brains activate when we hear a story in ways that mirror the storyteller’s experience. This phenomenon, known as neural coupling, helps explain why a good story can leave us feeling emotionally moved—it literally puts us in someone else’s shoes. In the case of my film, they will relate to a character who faces the circumstances to choose between AI and wisdom.

But storytelling does more than spark emotion. It builds bridges. When we hear about someone overcoming hardship, celebrating triumph, or navigating the complexities of life, we start to realize how much we have in common. The story’s specifics might differ, but the emotions underneath—fear, hope, joy, sorrow—are universal. These become the planks for the bridge we build to help others learn from mistakes not yet made.

The Mechanics of the Bonding Effect

When a person watches a main character do something cool, face something critical, or any other form of heightened emotion, the audience immediately relates the moment to their personal experience. While the circumstances won’t match, the moment’s emotions will be relatable. They form a bond with that character and must watch to see how their choices work out.

The bond starts with curiosity—a willingness to wonder about possibilities instead of jumping to conclusions. This desire to know opens the mind to consider things they might never have considered. We won’t be satisfied until the silent question bouncing around in our mind that we need answered by the main character’s choices gets revealed.

Why Film Transforms Tweens and Culture

Film offers a unique opportunity to shape how tweens interpret the world. At this pivotal age, they’re beginning to understand more profound truths, yet are still open to imaginative learning. A compelling story with powerful visuals and authentic emotion can unlock conversations that textbooks or lectures cannot.

In AI KNOWS, tweens meet characters navigating a future that could soon become their own. By watching others make hard decisions, face uncomfortable truths, and challenge the system, viewers develop empathy—and begin to imagine how they might handle similar dilemmas. The film doesn’t tell them what to think. Instead, it gives them something to think about.

When families watch together, those shared emotional moments become starting points for meaningful discussions. Parents don’t have to have all the answers—they just have to be present, willing to explore the story’s questions with their kids.

The Empathy We Need Next

The best part of empathy is that it’s an element of love. This form of love allows us to guide others without judging them. It empowers us to reflect back to them the golden nuggets of who they are, so they might see their own value.

Empathy isn’t built in the abstract. It’s built into the specifics. In the moments we lean in. In the details that reveal the heart. And in the courage it takes to tell, and to truly hear, someone else’s story.

Let us not underestimate the power of a narrative film or story. Because every time we tell a story—or listen to one—we take a step closer to understanding, connection, and the kind of empathy that can change everything.

Grow Your Empathy

Empathy begins in the pause—the moment we choose to engage, rather than dismiss. The next time you read a novel, watch a film, or hear someone share their story, lean in. Let their words stir your imagination. Let their experiences open your heart.

Ask yourself: What truth are they sharing? What emotions are they carrying? How might this moment shift how I see the world—or how I treat someone else?

If you’re with family, take the opportunity to ask questions. Explore what resonated with each person. Let the story serve as a springboard into real, honest dialogue.

You don’t need to be an expert to build empathy—you just need to be present, willing, and open to the story unfolding before you.

Copyright © 2025 by CJ Powers

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April 29, 2025

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A Sneak Peek Into 2060’s Wardrobe in AI KNOWS

For those of you who haven’t heard about my upcoming short film, AI KNOWS, it’s set in 2060, a world where artificial intelligence is deeply embedded in everyday life. The story follows a young rookie officer, tasked with escorting a 45-year-old man to his forced retirement at a space station. As their journey unfolds, the officer must choose between the wisdom of the old man and the ever-advancing AI that guides them. However, all is not as it seems, and the AI may be concealing or ignorant of a deadly malfunction.

AI is being integrated into everything, whether we want it there or not. Chances are, your phone already utilizes AI, and most email programs now summarize messages for you, saving you the effort of reading certain emails. Change is coming fast, and by 2060, AI will likely be woven into the fabric of our clothes.

Imagine a tag on your shirt that tells you how many times it’s been washed, how old it is, and whether it’s still in style. It might even suggest which items in your closet pair best with it, streamlining your decision-making. With these ideas in mind, I had to design outfits for AI KNOWS that always look sharp, reflect each character’s unique style, and function in a world where technology is an ever-present companion.

My goal for AI KNOWS wasn’t to craft a utopian or dystopian world but to create something that feels grounded in the present while still accommodating space travel. I wanted the setting—and the clothing—to be plausible enough that viewers wouldn’t be distracted by the future. Instead, I wanted them to quickly get in sync with the world I’ve built, allowing the story to take center stage.

Davis: The Young Rookie Shuttle Pilot

Davis is the main character in AI Knows, and he undergoes the most significant transformation. As a 14-year-old shuttle pilot, he has been taught to believe that AI knows best, people over 45 are irrelevant, and that AI holds the answers to everything. However, as the story unfolds, Davis is compelled to confront the limitations of AI and the value of human wisdom.

When designing Davis’s outfit, I wanted to ensure it reflected his role as a young pilot while also highlighting his discomfort with the rigid, AI-driven world he inhabits. His uniform needed to be formal enough to pilot a space shuttle but simple enough to allow for ease and comfort, reflecting his youth and inexperience. The design had to embody his journey—initially stiff and structured, mirroring his blind faith in AI, but gradually becoming more relaxed as he begins to question everything he has been taught.

Jet Carlson: The Aviator Mechanic

Jet Carlson’s life as an aviator mechanic has shaped his every move, and his outfit reflects the grounded, no-nonsense personality that comes with it. In a world where clothes constantly notify their owners when they need cleaning or care, Jet is one of the few who doesn’t mind getting a little grease on his elbows. His outfit consists of earthy tones—muted greens, browns, and tans—matching his practical, steady nature. But there’s one item he’ll never part with: his bomber jacket. It’s a symbol of his past, a worn piece of clothing that still holds its own style, even in the face of an AI-dominated world.

Despite his quiet demeanor, Jet is a man who knows when to push back. He maintains a calm exterior but isn’t afraid to make others uncomfortable if it means standing his ground. Once he’s done pushing, however, he lets go—accepting that not everyone is ready for the help he offers, and sometimes, that’s okay.

Elara Carlson: The Creative Spirit

Elara Carlson, Jet’s 12-year-old daughter, is the embodiment of creative flair. Unlike her grounded father, Elara embraces a playful, artistic spirit that spills into every aspect of her life—even her outfits. She’s the type of person who can mix and match items in her closet to create a look that feels fresh and new every day. No matter the circumstance, Elara’s outfits are always perfectly put together, each one a reflection of her personality, with the exception of her school uniform.

While her creativity shines through in her clothing choices, Elara’s fun-loving nature ensures she never takes herself too seriously. She holds everyone in high regard, always finding joy in connecting with others. When Jet tells her about Davis’ impending doom, she demands action, showing a level of maturity that surprises him. But once she’s confident things are in motion, she quickly returns to her playful self, telling him she’ll visit once she’s got her shuttle license. Accessories are Elara’s signature—whether it’s a fun pair of pink glasses or a custom necklace, she ensures every detail of her look is on point.

Fashion as a Reflection of the World

As Davis escorts Jet to his new room, they pass a billboard that reads Jet’s presence and immediately advertises the latest tech-wrench for his consideration. This subtle moment quietly reveals that the AI hasn’t been updated since Jet’s forced retirement. After all, he no longer needs tools.

But the real eye-catcher is the woman on the billboard, displaying the wrench in a sparkling one-piece suit—a glamorous worker’s outfit designed to catch the eye of the intended audience. It’s the kind of futuristic material I recall being shown back in sixth grade, an innovation that, at the time, seemed poised to revolutionize the fashion industry. Of course, it never took off.

It’s funny how companies constantly push the latest trends, but only a few clothing styles per decade truly capture the public’s imagination. Most fade away as quickly as the next season’s releases, leaving behind only a faint trace of what might have been.

The key to speculating on sci-fi fashion isn’t about trying to predict what could be, but about making sure everything fits seamlessly into the world I’ve created. After all, we all remember the future vision from Back to the Future II, released in the 1980s—flying cars were supposed to be everywhere by 2015, and the Cubs winning the World Series? Well, that seemed like a total joke at the time, and yet it actually happened, just one year later than in the movie.

That’s the beauty of world-building: it’s not about predicting the impossible, but creating a world so plausible that it feels natural.

In AI KNOWS, the fashion I design won’t be about futuristic outfits for the sake of spectacle, but about ensuring every piece fits into the everyday lives of my characters. The clothing needs to make sense in the context of the world I’ve built, from the sleek uniforms of the young officers to the retro-inspired attire of characters like Jet. If the audience doesn’t notice the clothes because they fit so naturally into the world, then I know I’ve done my job. After all, the focus should always be on the story.

A Life-Changing Story

For me to truly speak into the hearts and lives of teens and tweens about the importance of data-driven AI and the irreplaceable value of experiential wisdom—something AI can’t develop—I need to create a world that focuses the viewer on the core elements of the story. The quality of the production will help ensure that the audience is drawn into the world, allowing them to fully engage with the choices the characters make and the lessons they learn.

When Davis faces a life-changing decision, the audience will be right there with him, exploring the same considerations for their own lives. No one will tell them how to think; instead, they’ll be invited to make their own discoveries as the story unfolds. That’s what makes a truly life-changing story—one that can be watched again and again, each time offering something new.

So, keep following my journey, and let’s see if we can bring this vision to life together. In the meantime, I need to find costume experts to bring this vision to life.

© 2025 by CJ Powers