Category Archives: Unexplored Options

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January 6, 2025

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The Habit Hustle: Why Most Habit-Building Advice Fails and a Simpler Way to Stick With It

A surge of motivation to improve my life came with the new year. But it was week three, and that burst of enthusiasm was waning. I looked around me and saw that the number of gym visitors had dwindled. They probably lost their ambitious resolutions days before me. 

Why does this happen so consistently? 

I needed to explore other options to learn if there was a better way to make habits stick. I wanted to understand why most traditional habit-building advice fails and uncover a simpler, more effective approach—one that can transform our lives.

The Challenge of Sticking With Habits

How often have we started a new habit, only to abandon it within weeks? 

You may have planned to meditate every morning, hit the gym daily, or journal every night. At first, your motivation carried you. But soon, life got in the way. You skipped a day, then two, and before long, the habit vanished.

It’s frustrating. 

We had the best intentions and a solid plan, yet something didn’t stick. The issue isn’t our willpower or commitment. It has to be the system we use to build habits. Most traditional advice emphasizes grand plans and detailed tracking, but these methods seem to crumble under the unpredictability of real life.

Why Most Habit-Building Advice Fails

I tried to break down the common pitfalls of conventional habit-building strategies:

  1. Overwhelm: Setting ambitious goals, like exercising for an hour daily or preparing every meal from scratch, initially feels empowering. However, these significant changes quickly become exhausting and unsustainable.
  2. Dependence on Willpower: Willpower is a finite resource. It’s one of the first things to falter when you’re hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, not to mention overly busy and stressed. A system that relies too heavily on sheer determination is bound to fail.
  3. Lack of Flexibility: Life is unpredictable. When our routine is rigid, even a small disruption—like a hectic workday or unexpected obligation—can derail progress.

These challenges don’t reflect a lack of effort or discipline. They’re signs that the system needs an adjustment—one that makes habits easier to start and maintain.

The Micro-Habit Solution

The key to lasting habits isn’t about pushing harder or aiming higher; it’s about starting smaller. Enter micro-habits: tiny, easy-to-do actions that take less than two minutes. These bite-sized habits eliminate barriers to starting and build momentum that grows naturally over time.

Here’s why micro-habits work:

  • Ease of Starting: A small habit, like doing one push-up or drinking a glass of water, requires little effort or commitment, making it almost impossible to fail.
  • Momentum Creation: Small actions often lead to bigger ones. Once you’re on the floor for a push-up, you might do two or three. Over time, these tiny actions compound into meaningful routines.
  • Confidence Boost: Completing a micro-habit reinforces your ability to stick with it, creating a positive feedback loop.

James’ Single Push-Up

James was complaining to me about his workout. I listened patiently as he ranted about getting burned out after diving headfirst into his intense routines inspired by his hefty resolution. He was sore, fatigued, and frustrated.

John, one of the guys at the gym constantly exploring options on how to do things, came over and suggested a laughably simple alternative, “Do one push-up a day.” 

James laughed. He didn’t know if John was joking or serious. I was intrigued. 

“Come on now,” John said. “Drop to the floor and give me one.”

James looked at me. I shrugged, then gestured to the ground. James dropped down and did one push-up, then stood.

John shouted, “Yes!” Then he gave us both high fives. “I knew you could do it. You’ve just succeeded in your first of many daily habit-building pushups. Do this again tomorrow and the next day, then add one pushup each week, but no more than that. In no time, you’ll be doing 50 pushups a day like the pros.”

James told me he felt foolish and did 10 pushups daily for the rest of the week. Since he had a good base that his ego could handle, he shifted back and only added one pushup to his count every week.

His habit, which started with a number he couldn’t fail at, was building faster than anyone else in the gym. His new consistency made the difference.

James stuck with it because it never felt overwhelming. His success came not from sheer effort but from the simplicity of starting small.

Building Momentum with Micro-Habits

We can achieve similar results by following this simple three-step process:

1. Pick a Micro-Habit

Choose an action so small it feels impossible to fail, like:

  • Drink one glass of water each morning.
  • Write one sentence in a journal.
  • Stretch for 30 seconds before bed.

2. Attach It to an Existing Habit

Pair a new micro-habit with something you already do daily. This creates a natural cue, making it easier to remember. For example:

  • After brushing your teeth, do your pushups.
  • While waiting for your coffee to brew, drink a glass of water.
  • Before turning off the lights at night, stretch for 30 seconds.

3. Celebrate Small Wins

Each time you complete your micro-habit, celebrate—even if it’s just a mental “I did it!” This releases dopamine, reinforcing the behavior and making it more likely to stick. That’s precisely what happened when John gave James his high five.

The Power of Small Steps

Imagine if, like James, you started with a habit as small as one pushup and added another one each week. By the end of the year, you’d be at 50 pushups a day. That simple action could grow into a transformative and scalable routine. By eliminating overwhelm and focusing on easy wins, you set yourself up for long-term success.

It’s time for you to face your unexplored options. Pick one micro-habit and make it so small that it feels impossible to fail. Then, attach it to an existing routine and commit to it for the next week.

Don’t aim for perfection. Just start. Because once you’ve taken that first step, your celebration will create the momentum needed to keep going. Changes don’t happen overnight. They build with small, consistent steps.

By shifting your focus from grand plans to micro-habits, you can create a system that works with your life instead of against it. The journey to lasting change begins with a single, small step.

So, what’s your one push-up? Start there, and see how far it takes you.

If this approach resonates with you, share it with someone who might benefit from a simpler way to build habits.

Copyright © 2025 by CJ Powers

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December 30, 2024

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The Fresh Start Fallacy: Why Starting Over Often Fails—And What to Try Instead

Years ago, I was a bit nervous on New Year’s Eve. The clock was ticking close to midnight. My date grabbed my arm and pulled me into the main room, where many paused their dancing to share the countdown. A champagne glass was placed in my hand, and the chanting started: 10… 9… 8….

She wasn’t really my date. If she were, she’d know I didn’t like champagne. I was only a family friend who was asked to keep her company during the event. She had to make an appearance for her boss, and more importantly, she had problems dating guys over the past year and was looking for a fresh start.

I was not supposed to be her fresh start, just her platonic friend for the night. But the countdown was about to prove that true or false. 3… 2… 1… “Happy New Year!”

She grabbed my neck and pulled me in for a kiss. I shifted my head, receiving her kiss on my cheek. She was furious. “Why couldn’t you just kiss me? It’s not the end of the world for you, and you ruined my fresh start.” She gulped her champagne, handed me the empty glass, and stormed out of the room.

After I received several mean glances from onlookers, a kind group of people drew me into their conversation while I waited for my date to return. The discussion was on target for the moment.

Every January, millions of people commit to a “fresh start.” It’s a time filled with hope and excitement for them. The air is filled with promises to wipe the slate clean, set ambitious goals, and transform lives. Gym memberships spike, planners sell out, and social media is flooded with declarations of “New Year, New Me.”

But by February, the enthusiasm fades. Resolutions are abandoned, and most people find themselves right back where they started—just like my date, who had just brought her dating problems into the new year.

“Why does this happen?” I asked those in the circle. 

“The answer lies in what I call the ‘Fresh Start Fallacy’—the idea that starting over is the best way to succeed, but it isn’t,” said the eldest man. Then, as if I had given him permission to rant, he got on his soapbox and gave me an ear full of wisdom. Here is what I learned.

The Problem with Fresh Starts

The allure of a fresh start is undeniable. The promise of leaving past failures behind and reinventing ourselves can be the perfect solution. We all need do-overs at some point in our lives. But the fresh start mindset has a significant flaw: it often overlooks the strengths, lessons, and progress we’ve already made.

Starting over can feel like erasing part of our history—a history that includes failures, valuable insights, and small foundational wins. Two decades ago, during my divorce, I learned so much about life and myself that if someone had offered me a time machine to correct the problems, I would have turned it down. What I gained through that growth period changed my life for the better.

So, making something disappear can harm our emotional and mental health. When we ignore what’s already working, we set ourselves up for overwhelm and burnout.

Here’s why starting over often fails:

  • It disregards our strengths: By focusing only on who we want to become, we forget the habits and skills we already have. We lose sight of the silent strengths that have catapulted us to where we are today.
  • It’s overwhelming. Trying to overhaul one’s life—diet, exercise, work habits—all at once is unsustainable. It takes too much effort to become something we are not yet.
  • It relies on willpower: Willpower is a limited resource. We can’t always trump up what we need at any given moment. Some things have to be slowly built upon.

It’s no surprise that studies show 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February. But what if there’s a better way?

The Power of Building on What Works

Instead of starting fresh, what if we build on the progress we’ve already made? What if, instead of reinventing the wheel, we find small, overlooked habits and use them as a foundation for lasting change?

Sarah shared her transformation story and how she accidentally stumbled upon this approach.

Sarah’s Story: A Small Win That Changed Everything

Sarah was no stranger to New Year’s resolutions. She set ambitious goals every January: meal prep every Sunday, working out six days a week and cutting out all sugar. And every year, by week three, she was overwhelmed and exhausted.

This cycle of burnout left Sarah feeling like a failure. But one day, her coach asked her a simple question:

“What’s one thing you’ve done in the past that made you feel good?”

Sarah thought before answering, then said, “I used to take short walks with my dog in the evening. It wasn’t much, but it made me calm and clear-headed.”

That one memory became the key to Sarah’s success.

Instead of overhauling her life, Sarah started with a simple 10-minute evening walk. It didn’t feel like much, but it was something she could do consistently.

Over time, this tiny habit snowballed into significant changes. She began drinking more water during her walks and, shortly afterward, added light stretching. Soon, she felt motivated to incorporate a short workout into her routine.

By the end of the year, Sarah had lost weight, gained energy, and felt more confident. This was all because she had built on an already working habit: walking her dog.

Why Building on Small Wins Works

Sarah’s story highlights an important truth: We don’t need a blank slate to create change. We need a foundation—a small win on which to build.

Here’s why this approach is so powerful:

  1. It leverages your strengths. By focusing on what’s already working, we build confidence and momentum. We often see the simple thing already working as easy or second nature, making adding a new habit effortlessly. 
  2. It’s sustainable. Small, incremental changes are easier to maintain than sweeping overhauls. For example, if we walk every night for ten minutes, increasing our time to eleven minutes takes minimal effort.
  3. It creates a ripple effect: One positive habit often leads to others, creating a chain reaction of improvement. For example, a simple walk empowers us to drink an extra glass of water, which helps us sleep better. As a result, the benefits grow.

How to Build on What’s Already Working

Ready to ditch the fresh start fallacy and try a new approach? Here’s how to get started:

1. Reflect on Your Past Wins

Take a few minutes to think about one tiny or simple thing you’ve done in the past that made you feel good. Maybe it’s something like drinking water in the morning, journaling, or walking. Whatever it is, write it down—this is your starting point.

2. Build on the Habit

Ask yourself: How can I expand on this habit? Here are some examples:

  • If you enjoy walking, commit to a 10-minute walk each day.
  • If you like preparing healthy snacks, set aside time to prep them for the week.
  • If you meditate, add an extra minute to your practice.

The key is to keep it small and manageable. Building one little habit upon another is simple while building one big habit is nearly impossible. So, take action for the win.

3. Focus on Consistency, Not Perfection

Don’t worry about being perfect. What matters most is showing up consistently. Even small actions, when repeated daily, can build significant momentum over time.

If your mind often wanders to the point that consistency becomes challenging, shift your goal to persistence. Work on this angle until you can see your persistence in chasing after your goal has transformed into your being consistent.

So, here’s the challenge: What’s one small success from your past that you can build on today?

Think about what has worked for you before—something that made you feel good, even if it was just a simple habit. Reflect on how you can bring it back into your routine.

Start small, stay consistent, and watch those small steps grow into something meaningful.

My Date Returned

After spending some time in the lady’s room, my date returned. She apologized for wanting me to participate in her fantasy so she’d feel better about herself. I suggested that she should feel good about herself.

Her head tilted, and she gave me the most curious look. “What do you see in me that is of value?”

I said, “Your vulnerability and honesty are precious and powerful.” She smiled, took my arm, and motioned toward the coat check.

“What were you doing while I was gathering my thoughts?” she asked.

I shared about the Fresh Start Fallacy and how we don’t need to erase our past because it holds valuable clues about what works for us.

Launch A New Tiny Habit

Like Sarah, you can start with a tiny habit—something you’ve already done—and build on it. Over time, those small wins will create momentum, leading to lasting changes.

Imagine how different the new year could be if, instead of trying to reinvent ourselves, we embraced what’s already working and built on it. Our next steps are to reflect on our past wins, commit to a tiny action, and let that momentum carry us forward.

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with someone ready to make this year their best yet. Remember, significant changes start with small steps.

Copyright ©2024 by CJ Powers

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December 19, 2024

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A Well-Worn Pair of Gym Shoes

The New Year is coming, and my buddies and I chatted at the gym. The conversation was a repeat of the last three years. We made a gentleman’s bet on the week in February when the cramped gym space would return to normal for the remainder of the year.

Every year, we watch a large group of hopefuls show up to get stronger or skinnier within an unrealistic time frame. Most of them refuse to socialize with those of us who work out regularly, so we feel awkward when compelled to point out their unsafe technique. Most of them overdo their workout or strain something, so we’re not surprised when they seldom return.

These patterns appear the first week of every January and vanish sometime in February, with a few March exits. According to statistics, 80% of New Year hopefuls abandon their fitness goals by February, a pattern we’ve observed firsthand at the gym. The guys always speculate on why those desiring change don’t explore the option each of us selected.

We all started in a simple manner that made it impossible to fail.

We also slowly stacked new habits on top of our working habits, celebrated small wins to drive up dopamine to keep us going, and gained pointers from the guys who showed up daily. Let me break these four things down for you.

Start Small and Keep It Simple

When I first stepped into the gym, I didn’t know anyone, and I was intimidated by those who had more toned muscles than me. Part of me wanted to show off my incredible leg strength, which during my school years allowed me, a 160-lb. guy at the time, to drive 325-lb. guys off the line of scrimmage in football.

However, if I focused on my leg strength, people would soon learn that my upper body strength was below average. So, I considered what might work for my current state of disrepair.

I didn’t aim to deadlift my body weight or run a 5K in a month. Instead, I started with what felt achievable: 15 minutes on a slow treadmill and a few minutes on a single set of weights. Small wins built my confidence and, over time, my stamina.

The trick?

I didn’t overwhelm myself with a massive overhaul. Instead of trying to change everything at once, I picked one action that felt manageable. Once I felt comfortable with my small, consistent actions, I realized I could build on them by tying new habits into my routine.

Stack Habits for Lasting Success

You might think habit-building sounds like another buzzword, but trust me—it works. The gym regulars all found ways to tie new habits into their routines. It was as simple as putting my gym clothes and shoes in the bathroom next to the vanity the night before. That small act made it easy for me to head to the gym first thing in the morning. One of the guys always tossed his gym bag in the car the night before, so when he got off work, he headed straight for the gym.

The secret is linking a new habit to an existing habit.

My nightly ritual of washing my face and brushing my teeth was extended to include placing gym clothes next to the vanity. By linking a new habit to a standard habit, we reduce the obstacles that might hinder our choice to improve ourselves.

Celebrate the Small Wins

Here’s where the magic happens—dopamine. When you hit a small goal, like running for two minutes longer or lifting two pounds heavier, that little rush of accomplishment keeps you returning to the gym.

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter in the brain often referred to as the “feel-good” chemical. It plays a critical role in our motivation, reward system, and ability to experience pleasure. When we achieve a goal, no matter how big or small, our brain releases dopamine, creating a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.

This chemical reward encourages us to repeat behaviors that lead to success or joy, making it a key driver for habit formation and goal-setting. By celebrating small wins, we can leverage dopamine to build momentum, sustain motivation, and focus on long-term objectives.

While dopamine is incredibly motivating, it’s essential to manage it wisely. Negative self-talk can interfere with your brain’s release of this reward chemical. Instead, focus on celebrating each win to keep your motivation strong.

All you need is a 1% improvement over yesterday’s exercise to celebrate and release dopamine. Just do one more push-up, increase your dumbells by 2 lbs., or walk around the track one additional lap. Then celebrate the win.

We forget that if a person improves their efforts by 1% each day for an entire year, their improvement by the end of the year would be 36X your starting point. This exponential growth demonstrates the power of consistent, incremental progress over time. So feel free to start as simply as you can.

Learn from Those Who Show Up

One of the best-kept secrets of sticking to fitness is learning from those already doing it. The regulars at the gym aren’t just there to show off; they’re a goldmine of knowledge. I didn’t hesitate to ask for tips or advice when I started. Most people are happy to share what’s worked for them because they remember being a newbie, too.

By leaning on the experience of others, I avoided common pitfalls and even picked up new techniques that kept things fresh. If you’re new to something—the gym, saving money, or building relationships—don’t underestimate the power of learning from those who’ve been where you are.

Besides, most regulars are kinder than those you might see at work. They are worth getting to know.

The Simple Step of Shoes

For months, a friend—let’s call him Mike—talked about returning to the gym. He’d tell me every Monday, “This is the week I’ll hit the gym.” But Monday would roll into Friday, and he’d have an excuse. Too tired. Too busy. Too something.

Mike, like so many of us, wanted to start but felt overwhelmed by the idea of doing it all at once. That’s why I challenged him to focus on just one small step. “Don’t think about the whole gym thing. Just set your gym shoes and clothes out the night before. That’s it.”

Mike laughed at me because he was capable of so much more. I told him to appease me and do it. The following morning, he saw his gym shoes and clothes sitting out and thought, Well, I might as well put them on. Once dressed, he figured he could at least drive to the gym. Walking through the doors, he still didn’t have a plan. So, he picked one machine—the rowing machine—set the timer for 4 minutes and started.

That seemingly insignificant step turned into something bigger. He repeated the process. His clothes were out, so he dressed and headed to the rowing machine. He added a minute to the timer and saw another day of success. A month later, he added weights to his routine. And by the end of three months, Mike was thriving and had increased his stamina.

Mike swears it all started with those shoes. Setting his shoes and clothing out the night before created a chain reaction of small, achievable actions. Over time, those actions became habits that transformed his life.

What’s Your Shoe Moment?

What is that super simple step that is so easy you feel foolish if you don’t do something more?

That simple step is not foolish at all. Maybe it’s setting out clothes, packing a healthy snack, or checking out those unexplored options you’ve never considered but work for others. It might be the very thing that will bring you enough success to motivate you and your following steps.

So, as my buddies and I wait to see how long the gym crowds stick around next year, I hope you’ll be the one who stays. Start with your ‘shoe moment’ tonight, and let that simple habit guide you to your desired transformation.

Copyright © 2024 by CJ Powers