She was breathtaking. A light glint of love sparkled in her eyes. The depth of my soul was opening and there was nothing I could do about it. In the quick blink of an eye, between her long eyelashes closing and reopening, I felt a surge of joy flood my soul. My heart pounded, as everything in the room gently slipped into slow motion. I was caught.
I had not intended to be captured by the joyful step in her walk. Nor did I think her beautiful smile would captivate me like a little boy in a 72,000 square foot candy store. All I could do was look into her eyes, frozen in time like a deer in headlights.
Would she consume me and spit me out into a pain filled world of broken relationships, or would she gently open my heart and gleefully play with my inner child? I couldn’t be sure, nor could I think in that awe filled moment. Thinking… Trying to think… Nothing came to me except for a light breeze of her beauty caressing my eyes.
My friend called me a hopeless romantic. He couldn’t resist making fun of me when he waved his hands in front of my face without my knowledge, as I was replaying my short moments with her in my mind’s eye. It was pleasurable in the most sincere and meaningful way.
My lips started to praise God for her beauty. Even the movement of her lips glossing over her precious smile was remembered in detail. The gentle words of affirmation rolling off of her lips fascinated me like a dance choreographed for butterflies fluttering within a floral garden.
But she was gone and I only held a slowly fading memory of her. I strained to relive the moment, but my attempts were spotty at best. If only I could cross her path once more. My attempts were futile. Some time later she married and I could no longer put forth the effort. My morals wouldn’t allow it.
I was found to be wanting and alone. Date after date fell shallow among the fading memories I cherished of her. I tried letting go and lowering my standards, but it was useless. I became a pathetic sight. Lonely. Trapped in an eternity of sorry emanating from a past that never was.
My only hope would emerge from a God of redemption. He alone would be able to bless me with someone far better than I could ever imagine. He was the one who knew my heart more deeply than any dating service could promote. He was the only one I could trust. It was he that would bring into my life a new joy at the exact moment authors dream about.
Letting go was far from convenient. Desiring someone new was even less appetizing. The love I felt in that short moment with her was worth the years of suffering I endured since her marriage. While my friends called me a fool for not moving on, I savored every last drop of memory before it turned a dingy gray. Erased from the thrills of reminiscing.
But tonight I rest my head on my pillow for the last time with her on my mind. The only thing remaining are a few volts of emotional bliss that memory can hardly hold. She will certainly be gone by morning. And for that, I will be thankful. For man can barely maintain the passionate love of a romance made in heaven, let alone a brief awe filled moment of time faded by life’s harsh reality.
She’s gone. That’s what I tell myself. I can no longer miss her. Not because she wasn’t awesome, she was, but because my memories have faded to the point of a sketchy dream. <Sigh>
The subconscious is not daunted in the slightest way by crowded images or fading memories. It stays intact and plays wistfully in the fields of fun and romance. The very thought excites me. I shall hasten to close my eyes, fall asleep and look deeply into her eyes once again. My mind will be free to think of her often in rich colorful dreams that will last well into eternity.
Excuse me, but I have a date.
Good night.Copyright © 2011 By CJ Powers All Rights Reserved.