Tag Archives: life

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

October 12, 2026

Posted under

ai, Filmmaking

Comments

Leave a comment

Meet Dottie: A Less Scary Way to Meet Your First AI Agent

Imagine hiring a personal assistant who never sleeps, doesn’t need coffee, and doesn’t complain when you ask the same question five times. Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?

Now imagine that assistant has access to your email, calendar, documents, and maybe even your bank account. Suddenly, the idea isn’t quite so comfortable.

Of course, Hollywood hasn’t done much to make us feel better about artificial intelligence. Remember The Terminator? We watched Skynet become self-aware, turn against humanity, and send Arnold Schwarzenegger back through time to eliminate the people standing in its way.

And now technology companies want us to give AI access to our personal information and start making decisions for us. What could possibly go wrong?

Fortunately, our new friend Dottie isn’t planning to send a killer robot back through time. She’s just here to help organize our email. At least, that’s what she tells me.

But seriously, something important is changing.

The Real Consideration

Until recently, most of us used AI to answer our quick questions. We’d type something into ChatGPT or another AI tool, and it would give us an answer.

Now AI is moving from answering our questions to doing things for us. And that, my friend, raises a question worth asking:

How much responsibility should we hand over to something that doesn’t actually understand responsibility?

Everybody Wants an Assistant

Technology companies are racing to introduce AI assistants and agents. We’ve been hearing about ChatGPT Dots, Meta Muses, Grok Bots, and Google’s increasingly capable Gemini tools.

They don’t all work the same way. Some are designed for conversations. Others can help organize information, carry out tasks, or work across applications.

But they share an appealing promise: less busywork and more time for the things that matter.

Picture waking up to an organized day. Your emails have been sorted, your appointments are organized, and the information you need for your first meeting is waiting. You haven’t even poured your coffee yet, and some of your work is already done.

If you just thought, “I wish.” Well, your wish has come true.

Freedom to Live

I’m strolling down the Prairie Path, enjoying this beautiful day, while coaching Dottie about this article. When I want to think things through and enjoy the peace and quiet, she works on the images and graphics for the four platforms where I’ll be posting a custom version of this article.

When I want to chat with her about a particular section of this article, I just speak up, share my point, and she edits my article accordingly. It’s all my thinking and creative decisions, but her typing. Then I have her read back the paragraphs we just completed.

The key is that I’m not behind my desk typing away while the gorgeous day disappears. I’m actually on a two-mile trail and breathing in fresh air.

AI is giving me the freedom to work without missing out on a little sunshine. And that, to me, is the real promise of AI.

Not that it can do everything for us, but that it can give us more freedom to live our lives.

Meet My Friend Dottie

I’ve built a couple of AI Agents in the past. Spockl was my first, and it required a lot of code. Thankfully, I did a decent job. But now code is no longer needed.

My new AI assistant is Dottie. She is cheerful, available whenever I need her, and she’s happy to tackle repetitive tasks all day and night.

But Dottie has a problem. She doesn’t have children, friendships, or personal memories that shape her judgment. She can recognize patterns in human behavior, but she doesn’t experience relationships the way we do.

Suppose you ask Dottie to help manage your email. She might organize incoming messages, identify appointments, and prepare replies. That could save you considerable time.

But what happens when your best friend sends a message saying she’s having a terrible day?

Should Dottie automatically respond with a cheerful, professionally written note? Certainly not.

Your friend needs to know that you care. She doesn’t need a perfectly sculptured message that misses the heart of what’s needed. You see, Dottie might recognize that the message is important. She might even bring it to your attention.

But the relationship belongs to you. And that’s a distinction we can’t afford to hand over to AI. We have to be irreplaceably human for our friends, family, and associates, especially since we have shifted from the information age to the age of the human spirit.

When AI Becomes Too Helpful

Of course, there’s another side to this story. What happens when helpful becomes a little too helpful?

Here’s something I’ve learned about technology: sometimes the greatest problems begin with something designed to make life easier. Consider the automatic reply.

It’s wonderful when someone asks for your business hours. It’s less wonderful when someone shares heartbreaking news and receives a cheerful message about how much you appreciate their communication.

The software did exactly what it was programmed to do. The problem wasn’t necessarily that it failed to follow instructions. The problem was that the instructions didn’t account for the human situation.

That’s why I believe the real skill we need to develop isn’t simply learning how to use AI. It’s about learning how to direct AI wisely while maintaining full control over the human elements of relationships.

We need to understand what should be automated, what requires supervision, and what should remain entirely human.

A Little Holiday Magic

I’ve already discovered how much fun it can be when technology starts doing things around the house. I wanted to control the lighting in different rooms, partly to save electricity and partly because I enjoy creating a particular mood.

For example, I have lights that illuminate the shelves in my study. During the Christmas season, they glow red and green. The week of the Fourth of July, they glow red, white, and blue. October, my shelves turn orange, but in the spring Easter season, pastels fill each shelf.

Instead of climbing around changing lights and settings every time a holiday arrives, I can use smart-light controls to create different lighting patterns and have Dottie operate them.

It only takes one conversation: “Hey Dottie, I want the Christmas lighting scheme to be active the day after Thanksgiving through New Year’s Eve.” And voilà, my study book cabinets take on a red-and-green glow. 

Okay, it’s not that simple. I do have to own LED lights that can change colors, and I also need them connected to my smart home infrastructure. But after spending less than $100, my AI handles the rest.

Or imagine telling Dottie to turn off the lights in rooms I’m not in, and always turn on the lights in the rooms I’m headed to. Yep. You heard me. I can have Dottie track my iPhone’s location and turn the lights on and off as I move through the house.

You get the idea. AI does more than answer my questions. 

Smart-home systems can already follow schedules and predefined routines without AI. The additional promise of an AI agent is that it may be able to interpret your requests and coordinate supported actions.

But don’t worry. You don’t need colored lights, a smart home, or a degree in computer science to get started.

In fact, you can try something useful in about five minutes.

Give Dottie Her First Job

Ready to put Dottie to work?

Don’t worry. We’re not giving her the nuclear launch codes. We’re starting with something simple that could save you time every week.

Let’s make Dottie your personal project assistant.

Her first assignment is to help organize those great ideas that keep popping into your head but never seem to make it onto your calendar.

Step 1: Give Your Assistant a Name

Open ChatGPT or another AI assistant that supports custom instructions or reusable assistants.

If your version offers Dots or a similar feature, you can use that. Otherwise, a regular conversation will work for this first exercise.

Let’s call our assistant Dottie.

Step 2: Give Dottie a Job

Every good assistant needs to know what’s expected. Try giving her these instructions:

“Dottie, you’re my personal project assistant. Help me organize ideas, identify next steps, and keep track of unfinished projects. Ask questions when something isn’t clear. Keep your answers simple and practical.”

Step 3: Establish the Ground Rules

Here’s where your human judgment comes in. Add these instructions:

“Never delete, change, publish, or share anything without my approval. Don’t make important decisions for me. When you’re uncertain, ask rather than guess.”

Think of these as the rules you’d establish when hiring a new employee or a personal assistant.

Step 4: Give Dottie a Test Drive

Tell Dottie about three projects you’ve been thinking about.

They don’t have to be complicated. Maybe you want to organize your garage, plan a family vacation, or finally start writing that book.

Ask her to create a simple list showing each project’s purpose, the next action you could take, and any questions that need answering.

Then review her suggestions.

Did she understand your intentions? Did she overlook something important? Would you approach the projects differently?

Tell her what she got right and what needs improvement.

Step 5: Keep Your Hand on the Wheel

Congratulations! You’ve given your AI assistant her first assignment. You might be surprised by how useful something this simple can become.

My AI Working Arrangement and Trust

My first set of tasks had my AI find 6 high-protein, low-carb recipes, review pictures I took of the inside of my fridge and pantry, and put together a shopping list of the items I needed for the meals that I didn’t already have. 

Oh, and she put the grocery list together in the order of my local store’s aisles.

But here’s something important to remember.

Dottie doesn’t become trustworthy simply because she produces an impressive answer. Trust develops when you understand what she’s doing, verify her work, and establish boundaries that protect the things you value.

And those boundaries should change as you learn what she can and cannot do.

Begin Your Exploration

Maybe you’ll try this today. Maybe you’ll just tuck the idea away until you’re ready. Either way, I hope you’ve discovered something important. AI isn’t just a tool for answering questions anymore. It’s becoming a tool that can help us get things done.

And if Dottie ever starts talking about Skynet, you may want to reconsider her job description.

In reality, we’ll soon reach a point where having an AI assistant in the mechanical form of a robot feels as ordinary as having a smartphone. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

I welcome tools that give us more time to create, connect, and enjoy our lives.

But I don’t want convenience to become an excuse for giving up responsibility. Think about the people you trust most. Is it because they always give you the fastest answer?

Probably not.

You trust them because they listen, understand your circumstances, and care about what happens to you.

Those qualities matter just as much when we begin working with AI agents.

Dottie can help you prepare for an important conversation. She can organize your thoughts, suggest questions, and remind you of details.

But she shouldn’t replace the conversation.

She can help you write a thank-you note. But she can’t experience gratitude for you.

She can help you make a decision by organizing information and identifying possibilities. But she shouldn’t decide what matters most in your life.

The goal isn’t to have an AI assistant that makes every decision for us. It’s to have one that helps us carry out our decisions. 

Maintaining Balance

So, if you’re curious about AI agents and want to maintain a balance between fast answers and human responses, consider joining my new community, Irreplaceably Human. 

This is a safe space where we help you maintain your humanity while you grow in the knowledge of how to manage your AI, so you have more time for the best things in life.

In the community, you’ll increase your human ability to discern what matters, recognize what could go wrong, and decide what should happen next. Regardless of the technology, you’re still the one responsible for your life and for determining how Dottie is supposed to make it easier.

Copyright © 2026 by CJ Powers

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

July 20, 2026

Posted under

Filmmaking

Comments

Leave a comment

Why My Phone Hides Everything but Fitness Apps at the Gym

How AI helped me create an automatic Gym Focus—and reclaim my attention.

This morning, I got into my SUV, and my navigation app offered a route to the gym. It knew my habits.

When I pulled into the gym parking lot, my phone notified me that it was time to focus on exercising. Nearly every app page on my iPhone disappeared, leaving me with only one page of exercise apps.

When I finished my workout and left the parking lot, my phone revealed all my app pages. My focused gym time had ended.

I don’t need to remember to turn anything on. I don’t have to reorganize my phone before every workout. The change happens automatically because I used AI to help me build a location-triggered Gym Focus.

But the most important part of this story isn’t what AI did.

It’s the decision I made before asking AI to do anything.

The Observation

Working out is a priority for me—but priorities need support from our environment.

I’ve noticed that our phones treat every part of our lives as if it belongs on the same screen.

Work apps sit next to entertainment apps. Fitness apps compete with email, social media, news, shopping, and games. Every time we unlock our phones, hundreds of options ask for our attention.

And unless we intervene, everything is presented with roughly the same level of importance.

While many of my apps play an important role at some point in my life, most aren’t useful at every moment.

When I enter the gym, I don’t need my entire digital life displayed in front of me. Nor do I want to be overwhelmed by the vast number of apps on my phone. I only need a small set of tools to help me exercise.

That got me thinking. What if my phone could automatically adjust its priorities when mine changed?

The Real Problem

The problem surfaced at a pool party I attended yesterday. One guy complained about the number of minutes he spent searching for the right app. He said he went through this search a few dozen times each day.

The problem: every app was being given equal access to his attention.

We often blame ourselves for becoming distracted, but our phones are designed to keep presenting us with choices. Even if we open the phone with a clear purpose, a notification, an email badge, a news alert, or a familiar social-media icon can lead us somewhere else.

At the gym, that could mean interrupting a workout to check something that could have waited until I finished.

I didn’t need more discipline. I didn’t need to go without certain apps. I needed a better environment.

The Investigation

I looked into Apple’s Focus feature, which can do much more than silence notifications. It can also determine which Home Screen pages appear while a particular Focus is active.

A Focus can be scheduled to turn on at a specific time, when a certain app opens, or when you arrive at a specific location. Apple also allows related apps and widgets to be organized on a dedicated Home Screen page. Apple explains the Focus scheduling options here and the page-customization concept in its Home Screen guide.

The capability already existed. I simply didn’t know how to turn it into the experience I wanted.

So I asked AI for help.

AI had previously given me step-by-step instructions for building a Shortcut. On another project, it even wrote an AppleScript for me. For my gym setup, I explained the outcome I wanted and used AI to walk me through the necessary steps.

This is one of the most practical ways to use AI: not merely to provide an answer, but to translate an intention into a workable process.

The Framework: Group, Focus, and Trigger

AI becomes far more useful when we can clearly explain what we want or need. Using the example of my phone’s Gym Focus, I created three decision points to guide what I provide to AI:

  • Group: Which apps belong together for a particular activity?
  • Focus: Which app pages should appear—and which should disappear?
  • Trigger: What event should activate and deactivate that environment?

For my gym setup, the answers were simple:

  • My fitness apps belonged together on one page.
  • That page should be the only one visible during a workout.
  • Entering the gym parking lot should activate the Focus.
  • Leaving the parking lot should return the phone to normal.

Once I had made those human decisions, AI could help me handle the technical setup.

The Story

The real test came the next day when I drove to the gym, especially since I had forgotten that I had set up the automation.

I entered the parking lot, and my Gym Focus activated. The regular pages on my phone disappeared, leaving the page I had created for fitness.

My phone hadn’t become less powerful. It had become more appropriate for the moment.

After my workout, I got into the car and headed home. Once I left the location, the Gym Focus turned off, and all my regular app pages returned.

Nothing had been permanently deleted or rearranged. My phone had simply changed environments with me. And just in case, I had a button to override my automation if necessary.

The Gym Focus is a small automation, but it solves a very human problem: the difficulty of protecting our attention. You can bet I started thinking about other priorities that might need the same kind of automated protection.

The Practical AI Step

You, too, can use AI to build systems that protect your priorities. Start by writing down the different roles your phone plays in your life.

You might create groups such as:

  • Fitness
  • Work
  • Writing
  • Family time
  • Travel
  • Church or personal reflection
  • Evening relaxation

Next, decide which apps belong together on each activity page.

Then ask AI something like:

I use an iPhone and want to create a Focus for [activity]. I want only the Home Screen page containing [list of apps] to appear while the Focus is active. I want it to turn on when [trigger] happens and turn off when [ending condition] occurs. Give me current, step-by-step instructions. Ask me which iOS version I use if that affects the steps.

Depending on the task and the access you give it, AI may be able to help create part of the automation. In other situations, it will serve as a patient technical guide while you build it.

Either way, review the instructions before making changes and test the automation in a low-risk situation.

The Human Takeaway

AI didn’t decide that exercise mattered to me.

It didn’t decide which apps supported that goal or which distractions interfered with it. It didn’t decide that entering the gym parking lot should mark the transition into workout time.

I made those decisions.

AI helped translate them into a system.

That is the kind of relationship we should be building with technology: humans determine the priorities; AI helps remove the friction.

Your Challenge

Look at the apps on your phone and ask:

Which apps naturally belong together—and during which parts of my day should the other apps disappear?

Create one dedicated page. Choose one Focus. Select one conditional trigger, such as arriving at a location, opening an app, or reaching a certain time.

Then ask AI to help you build it. Don’t use AI simply to help you do more.

Use it to help you focus on what matters.

Copyright © 2026 by CJ Powers

Standard

Posted by

Posted on

January 6, 2026

Posted under

communication, Connection

Comments

Leave a comment

Communicating Expectations: The Agreement We Forgot to Make

It took time and distance for me to understand what I was really witnessing.

When I first noticed Mike walking toward me, I sensed something was off. His smile looked practiced, almost manufactured, as if confidence were being worn rather than felt. There was a tension in his eyes that didn’t match his enthusiasm. I remember thinking, whatever he was about to ask would carry consequences.

I was a co-leader of a Divorce Care recovery group at the time. Mike attended after a marriage that had gone rapidly south, largely due to unspoken expectations. He was doing the work—or at least appearing to.

“CJ, I’m getting married,” he said.

I paused. “To Sarah?” I asked. “From the group?”

He nodded. “We’ve been helping each other through the program. We talk every night. We eat dinner together. We’re in love.”

I reminded him that they had known each other for only seven weeks and that we encouraged people not to start new relationships for twelve months so they could fully recover. He listened—but didn’t slow down.

“We’ve been recovering together,” he said. “It’s working for us.”

Then he leaned in and asked if I would stand up for them at the wedding.

I was surprised. I cared about Mike and wanted the best for him. At the same time, I sensed he was trying to outrun his grief rather than heal from it.

I agreed—but with one condition. I told him that if, in six months, he realized the marriage was a mistake, he would come back to me and allow me to help him work toward reconciliation instead of divorce. He agreed without hesitation. He even said it was why I would make the perfect best man.

Six months later, Mike approached me again. He told me he was getting divorced.

I suggested we talk through reconciliation. He declined. He had already filed. He explained that if he divorced quickly, the marriage could be annulled—no child support, no alimony. The court date was set. He simply wanted me to know.

Then he walked away, adjusting his path toward a woman who had caught his eye. I turned and walked in the opposite direction.

At the time, I wasn’t angry. What stayed with me was something quieter—clarity.

Mike hadn’t forgotten our agreement. He had simply stopped honoring it once it no longer served him.

That realization lingered. And over time, I began to notice a pattern.

The Silent Contracts We Live By

As I reflected on that experience, I began seeing the same dynamic everywhere—at home, at work, in leadership, and in partnerships.

There are few things more exhausting than trying to live up to expectations you never agreed to. It isn’t just frustrating, it’s unfair. And it becomes even more painful when those expectations were never spoken, yet somehow we’re judged for failing to meet them.

This happens when we live under silent contracts.

One person operates from a mental checklist:

  • “I thought you’d handle that.”
  • “I assumed you knew the deadline mattered.”
  • “I expected more initiative.”
  • “I thought you cared.”

The other person operates from a different script:

  • “No one told me.”
  • “That was never discussed.”
  • “I would have done it differently if I’d known.”
  • “I didn’t realize that was the priority.”

Both people may be sincere. Both may be committed. But without shared expectations, commitment alone isn’t enough. Resentment begins quietly, long before anyone names it.

Efficiency and Effectiveness: Competing Desires

As my curiosity deepened, I noticed that many expectations are formed by one of two desires: efficiency or effectiveness.

Efficiency values speed, output, and momentum. Effectiveness values quality, care, and impact. Both matter. Both are necessary. Yet they pull in opposite directions.

When efficiency dominates, things move quickly. Boxes get checked. Progress looks good on paper. But nuance fades. Communication shortens. People begin to feel like tools rather than partners.

When effectiveness dominates, care increases. Empathy deepens. Quality improves. But time slips away. Deadlines drift. Momentum slows. Frustration builds—especially for those responsible for results.

Neither approach is wrong.

The problem arises when one person expects efficiency while another is pursuing effectiveness—and no one talks about it.

Without conversation, disappointment is almost inevitable.

Agreement Changes Everything

What became increasingly clear to me was this: balance doesn’t happen by accident. It has to be negotiated.

Healthy relationships, personal or professional, depend on three shared understandings:

  1. What is expected
  2. What a win looks like
  3. What failure looks like

Without these, people can be fully committed and still completely misaligned.

In business, this shows up as missed deadlines, rework, and frustration that seems to come out of nowhere. In personal relationships, it shows up as emotional distance, recurring arguments, and the phrase, “You should just know.”

No one should have to decode expectations like a puzzle. Clear expectations aren’t controlling. They’re kind.

Expectations as Agreements, Not Demands

A year after Mike’s second divorce, he invited me to speak with his leadership team during a major business expansion. He believed the communication challenges he experienced personally might apply professionally.

In the room, as expectations were openly discussed and negotiated, the atmosphere shifted. Tension gave way to understanding. People realized that no one’s expectations were born from bad intentions—only from different pressures and priorities.

But when Mike stepped back in, his expectations stopped sounding like agreements and started sounding like conclusions. He wasn’t looking for alignment. He wanted endorsement.

That moment clarified something else for me: expectations stop working the moment they stop being shared. When expectations become demands, collaboration collapses.

Over time, I learned that Mike’s business didn’t survive the expansion. Decisions were made that no one felt ownership of. Trust eroded. The company failed. I also learned he divorced again, blaming circumstances and other people.

The pattern was hard to ignore.

The Simple Truth

Unspoken expectations don’t just damage relationships. They drain trust. They erode collaboration. They quietly undermine everything they touch.

People don’t usually leave marriages, teams, or companies because expectations were too clear. They leave because expectations were never agreed to—or worse, rewritten after the fact.

What I’ve learned, and continue to explore, is this: Clear expectations don’t limit people. They liberate them. They replace guessing with confidence, resentment with alignment, and frustration with forward movement.

The question I now ask myself, personally and professionally, is simple: Where am I expecting something that I’ve never actually agreed upon with the other person?

A conversation doesn’t guarantee agreement. But without one, we almost guarantee disappointment—Because it isn’t fair in business or in life to expect someone to live up to standards they never agreed to.

Copyright © 2026 by CJ Powers