The Grace Card releases today on DVD. It’s a story about sacrifice, partnership and acceptance. The film is shot in a tone and style similar to the Southland cop series on TNT. It’s a gritty look, and very realistic according to the Chicago Police Officers I watched the movie with.

The story is more than just a cop show about a white and black partnership and the obvious issues they face as a team. It dives deeper into the heart of Officer Mac McDonald (Michael Joiner) who lost his son in an accident and must find a way to work through the pain before alienating everyone around him, including his surviving son.

With his emotions erupting in unhealthy ways, no one wants to ride with him on patrol. Sgt. Sam Wright (Michael Higgenbottom) steps up to ride with him and finds their relationship stretched to the max, until God asks him to make a significant sacrifice for Mac.

This drama is paced according to the lives of real cops, not the faster paced Hollywood action film. With reality being leveraged by the director, the audience has a chance to learn more about the emotional and mental anguish some cops bare and how God can intervene through the closeness of a partner or friend.

Michael Joiner’s performance was amazing. His screen intensity never gave hint to his professional life as a comedian. After watching his realistic tough cop performance on screen, I had a chance to shake his hand and chat about the film. To my surprise he was a soft-spoken tender man who loves God.

Michael felt honored by the officers I was with who validated how realistic his performance came across. Even the Hollywood Reporter published comments about his “Powerfully Intense Performance.” Michael shared the screen with Louis Gossett Jr., who won an Oscar for his performance in An Officer and a Gentleman and an Emmy for his role as Fiddler in the historic TV miniseries Roots.

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I was able to hear Dr. Henry Cloud speak last Saturday night and found his topic timely. He shared how often we can’t move forward unless we first bring an end to something else. Its the concept that we only have so much capacity in life and can’t accept something new if something old or unhealthy is in its place.

This truth fits numerous scenarios like an employee that needs to move on before the workplace becomes toxic, or a relationship that is going nowhere needing to be brought to an end, or letting go of a dream that is not going to materialize.

Cloud drew an analogy by stating, “Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize that something’s time has passed and be able to move to the next season. And, everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great metaphor for endings. Gardeners prune a rose bush for three reasons: 1. The bush produces more buds than it can sustain, and some good ones have to go so the best ones can have the resources of the bush
2. There are some branches and buds that are sick and not going to get well
3. There are some that are already dead and are taking up space.”

Cloud made it clear that over time we tend to gather more activities, relationships and work than what we can handle. We therefore are in a position where we have to determine who or what activities we’ll continue to maintain and what or who we need to walk away from.

We first need to determine where we’ll put our energy. If there is someone who is always a hassle to deal with, then that is a person we should consider walking away from. Or, if there is a person that makes us feel healthy, confident and positive every time our paths cross, making sure we have more time with them is important.

In relationships there are two kinds of people: The ones who drain you and the ones that build you up. So why is it hard to walk away from those who drain us? Cloud suggests its because, of how we, “look at endings in general. Do you perceive them as natural? Do you have a worldview that everything has its season and life cycle, or do you think that if something comes to an end it means that “something must be wrong?”

“When you see that you need to let go of something, or a person, what happens inside? What fears emerge? How paralyzing are they? What can you do to address them?

“Have you really thought about the fact that if you don’t do the pruning in that area that is needed, then you won’t get what you ultimately want? For example, if you keep that employee then that department will never perform well? Or if you stay in that dating relationship you will not find the one that fulfills? Play the movie forward a year or two and see if you like the results of not making a decision.

“If you are holding on to hope, what is the basis for that? Is it rational and objective? Or is it just a defense against facing the issue? Endings are a part of life, and we are actually wired to be able to execute them.”

Cloud also pointed out that when we are fearful about hurting someone’s feelings, we should consider if the outcome of not bringing things to an end is more hurtful. In fact, he sighted numerous examples where the person was actually thankful to learn of the issues at hand and bringing them to an end put the person into a good and right place for the next chapter of their life. They were win/win scenarios.

If you are as intrigued as I was about Cloud’s insights and the process for bringing things to a necessary ending, you can jump to Amazon.com and pick up a copy of Necessary Endings for yourself.

Last night I was at a special dinner party of business people and entrepreneurs. Everyone had a passion for their business and how they desired to make a significant difference in the lives they touched. Everyone I talked to carried him or herself well, was sincere in their approach and executed their elevator speech flawlessly.

I was so impressed by the first man I met that we continued talking well beyond the cursory five-minute business conversation. Fortunately, this gentleman knew how to find common ground in the conversation and expand his elevator speech into a discussion derived of benefits and captivating ideas that met my interests.

Not only was I impressed with the man, but I also wanted to figure out a way that our paths could cross again through some form of joint venture. The synergy that our two business styles could create was popping through my mind. It didn’t take long for me to realize that the worst-case scenario included me passing his name onto other business acquaintances that might need his services. He had sold me and I felt good about it.

Unfortunately, I had to endure some awkward conversations as well. The men and women were equally impressive, but their inability to take a conversation beyond the introductory elevator speech didn’t exist. For those who did everything right, but weren’t able to take the conversation to the next level, I’d like to share four things the first man did that might be of help.

1. Find Common Ground. During the initial exchange there will be some form of overlap in what people share. This is due to both individuals being business people or entrepreneurs. When you expand on this commonality, you immediately relax the other person and bring the conversation to a memorable level from which to share your ideas.

2. Give Them the WIFM. Everyone receives some form of benefit from time well spent. Sharing or clarifying the other person’s benefit, “What’s in it for Me,” gives the person a small sense of fulfillment, making them feel like their time was well spent. One man shared how his organization makes its donors feel valued and fulfilled, as he generated interest in his services.

3. Dive into Their Interests. The twinkle in the other person’s eye when you mentioned a particular point within the conversation hints of their interest that should be expounded on. If you aren’t able to pick up on their “tells”, then listen carefully to where they desire to take the conversation and support them in it. They will remember you as a great businessperson, even if they end up doing most of the talking.

4. Share the Rest of the Story. Don’t be shy about expanding your story to include additional facets of your business, as long as the other person is showing interest. Pay attention to their questions and respond enthusiastically, making sure they feel good about having inquired. Every question is a good one if asked by someone who is interested in the answer, so take time to elaborate on points that peak their curiosity.

The above ideas should always be shared off-the-cuff and not memorized. Since you know your business so well, share from the depths of your heartfelt passion, not from your head knowledge, as new people you meet will remember the feeling you gave them more than the words you shared.

Copyright © 2011 By CJ Powers

Photo © Marc Dietrich – Fotolia.com