Adjusting to the idea that I will be a grandfather next Thanksgiving is peculiar to say the least. While I’m used to grandparents being much older than me, I found it more odd that the way pregnancies are talked about have radically changed. Mothers no longer hide until the baby is born like my grandmother probably did. Instead, mothers tweet about the experience so all their friends can participate vicariously.

My son gave me specific rules that I couldn’t blog until after their announcement was public. In the meantime, my daughter in-law tweeted about being sick several times, which in retrospect should’ve given me a clue. But now that the announcement is out in the open, I feel like I’m living vicariously through Twitter as the baby develops.

Last week my daughter-in-law tweeted her surprise, “I am officially to the point where sitting down with my jeans buttoned is uncomfortable. Where did this baby bump come from???!” I cracked up laughing and then noticed the warmth I felt as happiness welled within me.

My son on the other hand only tweets about work and technology for the most part. However, I’m sure he’ll tweet those of us hanging around our cell phones for the latest birthing updates come November. Then again, we might be in the delivery room thanks to the Face Time app – Probably not.

Regardless of the technology used during this pregnancy and delivery, one thing is certain… It’ll be a baby!

Congrats to the happy couple!

He was trembling. The wolves howled as they picked up his scent just outside of the borrowed RV where we sat. Cubby Joe, our family dog, was petrified and didn’t find solace in my calming voice. Even the kids were concerned that the wolves would soon break into the rickety camper.

I suppose it was my fault, since I planned the week long vacation. And, I suppose looking up in advance of our departure that the attractions and theme parks opened the week following our vacation might have improved things a bit. But, I did have a plan that should have been filled with fun and adventure.

The first order of business after arriving was to build a big campfire and cook dinner, which didn’t go so well. However, I had an ace up my sleeve in planning a great time of sharing stories around the campfire, as we made Jiffy pop.

The campfire ring was under a gnarly looking tree and my story started off a little too scary sounding for the kids. I was trying to share a mystery with a funny ending, but it sounded more and more like a horror story to their little ears. And, right when I got to a creepy moment…

BANG!

The Jiffy pop exploded, tossing hot, burnt kernels onto everyone. The shrieks and screams quickly turned to angry pouts. Story time was over and everyone wanted an early bedtime. And, to think it was only the first night.

It was one of our most adventurous vacations. We deemed it the “vacation from hell.” We toured New Salem in the drenching rain and prayed for the ability to overcome pneumonia. The temperature dropped significantly during the night the heater broke. The next night, we got to the hotel with seconds to spare before the tornado hit.

In the morning we found the dog cowering in the RV with the deafening CO2 detector blaring to notify us of poisonous gas. The kids demanded that we cut the vacation short, so we headed onto the highway. Once we got in the middle of nowhere, the transmission fell out of the RV.

Thankfully an auto hobbyist came by and offered to help us. Even though the auto parts store was closed on Sunday, he knew the owner and drove over to his house to get the keys. Within a few hours we were headed home again.

Speaking of home, when we pulled into the driveway the kids and I hopped out of the RV, kneeled down, and kissed the ground – Thankful we made it back.

While I wouldn’t recommend anyone starting their vacation off in the wrong direction with Jiffy pop, I do suggest that no matter how good or bad the adventure, our family bonded during the simple times when we were together waiting out the storms or quietly waiting for the wolves to retreat.

While most people prefer luxury hotels, our partial vacation gave the kids weeks worth of material for various conversations at school, church and social events. The funny thing was the unexpected bonding we had, as we teamed together and fought for our survival. One day I might edit the video footage and put it on this site.

In the meantime, I suggest you make plans for your next family adventure instead of waiting for me to cut our vacation clips from several years back. The kids are much older now and I’m confident our next family vacation together will include a five star resort and a lot of pampering.

This week was filled with women instructing me on my love life and the number one comment was to never text a woman you want a relationship with. NEVER!

Being a guy, my first thought considered what exceptions existed. Voicing my curiosity gave way to the women getting on their soapbox and filling my ears with more intense soprano voice than I anticipated. The passion behind the words was strong and I must say that I will probably avoid texting any woman for years to come.

Even the exceptions I learned about caused me to take pause and lock into my mind that exceptions are rare and may not be accepted or received depending on the state of the woman’s mind at the time. So, why rock the boat or give a foothold to future failure?

One example I broached was the common scenario of a boss delaying your departure by pulling you into a meeting that will certainly wreak havoc on your relationship unless you inform her of your delay. Clearly she would be expecting a phone call, but circumstances won’t allow you to step out of the room, so you lower your cell phone below the edge of the table and text your disappointment in losing a precious half hour of time with her.

I would hope that a girlfriend or wife would appreciate the dilemma and be thankful for the heads up, but the women told me something a little different. They shared how their relationship with their man is not an extension of work or the world of email and texting, but an intimate soul bearing relationship that is far more valuable and needs to be treated as such.

I was also informed that the woman would speculate or presume if her man was showing kindness in giving her a heads up or if he was sheepishly hiding behind the text message because he didn’t want her to know he wasn’t able to man up and tell his boss he needed to make a phone call before the meeting began.

Oh, and the women told me that once she decided on a scenario that worked in her mind, everything she did and thought about for the rest of the night would be based on her perception. She would either make you feel like a king for having given her a thoughtful heads up or like a dog headed for the doghouse.

I understand that some women would certainly make that presumptuous call, but what gave me pause was that every woman responded in about the same way. It didn’t matter her level of intelligence or beauty, they all responded with the same type of comment – As if they attended a class together on how and when to put their man in a doghouse.

After this bizarre series of experiences this week, I have to admit that I don’t have the guts to ever again text a woman that I want a relationship with, without some sever wincing as I proceed. I’ll be looking over my shoulder every time I text.

And, don’t let your girlfriend or wife fool you. After reading this article they are sure to suggest that they are not this way and share that you are always welcome to text them with sweet words of encouragement or updates if there is no other means of communication available. But, beware that this thinking is from the mindset that you would ONLY be doing it if there were no other forms of communication available. The moment she decides you’re doing it to wimp out of facing up to a situation, well, just keep an extra pillow in the doghouse.

Let me know if you’ve had a similar experience. I’d love to hear true stories about romance and texting.