I was asked to begin praying for the trip to Ireland a month before we left. Not only did I take the request seriously, but I also asked others to pray with me for clarity in my role during the trip. My prayers extended to seeking God for my personal life.

God put a call on my life to touch people’s lives through media in a way that helps them apply kingdom principles in a practical way within their every day life. However, I’ve needed clarity for some time in understanding what venue I was to use in order to fulfill this calling.

Was I to be a pastor/evangelist/missionary who uses media to reach the hurting? Or, was I to be a filmmaker who revealed Godly principles within my stories? Either way seems to accomplish the same goal, but both come about in very different ways. The only thing I knew for certain was my God given calling.

This lack of clarity was brought about by the rules within the denomination I served and the church I attend. My church empowered me to minister as a teacher and co-leader within the encouragement ministry, partially fulfilling my calling and allowing me to touch a thousand plus people one on one over the past 5-6 years.

My denomination on the other hand states that divorced people can’t be pastors. Not that I need to be a pastor to fulfill God’s calling in my life, but many people I’ve touched have recommended I lead a church. Of course, my denomination does allow evangelists and short-term missionaries to be divorced, so you can understand some of the confusion I’ve experienced.

It unfortunately comes down to the interpretation of one particular scripture verse blended with another. And yes, various translations do increase the argument. However, if you pull back a step and realize that the Apostle Paul killed Christians before he got his calling from God, you do have to consider why divorce seems to be a deterrent.

In the meantime, the passion burning within my soul to help others understand how to apply the Bible to their everyday life continues to grow in intensity. I’m compelled to help people understand the difference between having a relationship with God versus living out the rules of religion. I’m driven to empower others to find the free gift God has for them and to understand his plan for their lives – making a difference in their community by sharing grace, mercy and love.

I have to bring hope to others.

In preparation for Ireland, I sensed that God wanted me to speak. I didn’t know what that looked like or how it would play out, but I prepared for it. Once in Ireland, I was asked to join a small team to visit those in the local Teen Challenge program who were fighting to get off of various addictions and I knew in that moment I would be speaking.

Marty was in charge of the small group and asked two of us men to speak. Pete went first and shared some stirring comments that touched the men’s hearts. It was then that I realized what I had prepared wasn’t going to work. As I frantically debated within my mind if I should pass on speaking or attempt to share something different, Marty introduced me and I found myself standing in front of the men with a blank mind.

God made a promise to me in the Bible that he would give me the words I needed in the hour I needed it, so I trusted him and began to speak. I told the men that I was not able to share like Pete had, but I told them I was capable of telling a story and asked their permission to do so. Their response was unanimous so I started in.

By the climax of my talk, I saw the light bulbs going on. They understood God’s message. And I was thrilled to have been used by him to share. I saw that five of the men were in tears and I heard one shout out words of excitement based on how he was touched. It was clear that God used me as a vessel to deeply touch the men.

I was in a moment that confirmed my calling and the venue wasn’t media, but a rustic lodge. Later that afternoon I shot footage for the documentary that touch my heart and the heart of others standing by listening. Again, my calling was confirmed, but this time associated with the media.

My expectation for answers in Ireland wasn’t directly met, but God’s calling was confirmed.

Toward the end of our time in Ireland, I chatted with a woman who was upset that she hadn’t seen God move in a specific way. She had prayed for weeks with the expectation that she would see God move in her life, but all she saw were several people experiencing God’s miracles. She was happy for them, but nagging within the back of her mind was her unanswered prayer.

I was amazed to hear her share story after story of the miracles she watched unfold in the lives of others. I had to ask her what she prayed prior to the trip. She said, “That God would open my eyes to see his hand at work.” I started laughing. Here she was waiting for God to do something special in her life and she hadn’t realized that he was answering her prayer time and time again.

To ease her curiosity of why I was laughing, I helped her to see how God had blessed her by opening her eyes to see his hand at work in numerous lives. As best as I could tell, she was the only one on the trip with such a vantage point. When the realization hit her, she broke out laughing with tears of joy welling within her eyes. God had answered her prayer.

But as for me, God only clarified what I already knew. So today, my prayer is for him to open a door for me to enter into the right venue. In the mean time, I’ll just keep on touching the hearts God puts in front of me. I will do my best to encourage each one I meet to develop a personal relationship with the one God that wants them to be filled with peace, joy and love. I will bring hope to the hurting and come along side of those beginning to walk according to kingdom principles.

One of my favorite miracles that happened in Ireland was the nightly discussion six of us men had. We tended to gather around 10pm and chatted into the next day with lights out any where from midnight to 1:30am. The miracle wasn’t men talking into the wee hours, but rather the open vulnerability that each shared.

Our conversations were deep and revealed some of our most inner thoughts and feelings. We trusted each other with our hearts and the respect we had for each other grew exponentially. We knew that our conversations were held in confidence and we could count on the acceptance we showed each other with no fear of rejection.

The conversations were not puffed up or superficial by any stretch of the imagination. Every topic revealed the positives and the negatives of our shared circumstances. There was no pretence and none of us had any desire to one up anyone. It was straightforward sincere communication.

Every night ended in prayer and with the sharing of a blessing for each other. Each man received love, compassion and understanding. Every man also shared love and respect with each other. It was totally awesome.

A couple of women and I were chatting in a pub one night about the experiences us men had and the women were amazed to hear about our closeness. They commented on how unique our experience was and they were thrilled for us. During the conversation they opened up about their husbands and wondered how they could help them become vulnerable enough to share from their heart.

I gave them a couple simple tips based on the talk I once gave titled Drawing Out Your Man’s Verbal Intimacy. They suggested my comments were confirmation based on their experiences earlier in the week and were excited to implement their own changes that would make sharing more safe and conducive for intimate conversation.

Every one of us men became equals in Ireland. While our experiences greatly differed, there wasn’t one of us better than the other. We all struggled with the same types of issues and we all desired to serve God and love our neighbors as ourselves.

I should clarify that not all of our conversation was serious, as humor played an important role in our sharing. We had numerous laughs and a little ribbing to boot – Not to mention some of the silly moments brought on by exhaustion and sleep depravation. But some how, we all made it through and are proud to be called each other’s friend.

The comradery will stay with each of us the rest of our lives. The memories will always include those special moments when one of the guys touched our hearts. And, every one of us will remember that we were unconditionally accepted by our peers – An incredible gift for men to give each other.

I must admit that while the Ireland trip touched me in many ways, I have to say that time every night with the guys was the greatest highlight of all. And yes, I already miss those great conversations before bed. But I’ll look forward to reconnecting with the guys the next time our paths cross. In fact, I’m confident that our hearts will leap for joy the next time we see each other.

So, if you happen to be around a couple of guys giving a knowing look and slightly holding back a smile, its probably us trying to maintain some level of composure as our spirits soar – Reminiscing a few of the greatest days of our lives.

Blogging during my trip to Ireland was difficult to say the least. Most entries were written after midnight and few amazing experiences were captured due to the fullness of activities that kept me going from 6am to 1am most nights.

This trip was one of the most enlightening ones I’ve ever encountered. Not only was it amazing to capture footage for the documentary, but it was also amazing to capture the spiritual activities that flowed throughout our time there. It’s my hope that I can share some of those moments with you in a handful of up coming blogs.

The most memorable lesson I learned came from me asking a simple question. “What is the most notable problem facing the American church?”

I asked this question of seven different Irish believers who didn’t know I had asked others. All were extremely hesitant to answer, as they didn’t want to come across judgmental. I had to pry the answer out of each one. These were people that had a special love for Americans and they were thrilled by our presence.

All answers were the same, “The American church is judgmental.” One woman shared how she became a believer and stated that had she lived in America, she would never have been saved due to the church’s condemning spirit. She went on to share how important it is for the American church to fully understand and share grace.

After all seven Irish believers shared the same comment; I couldn’t help but wonder if it was just that international idea that all Americans are bad, so I asked several Americans if they thought the church was judgmental. Every one of them answered “yes” and immediately gave examples.

I recalled the comment Jesus made in Matthew 7:3, “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?”

The fact that we all fall short was clear to Paul who wrote in Romans 3:23, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” One Irish woman agreed with Paul and shared that there are so many problems in Ireland that it was easy for each believer to show grace, especially since they all knew that they didn’t live up to God’s complete standards.

I talked with one woman about divorce. She was shocked to hear that divorce in the American church was about 54% (based on the last statistic I read). She couldn’t understand why Christians would divorce when it was clear in God’s word that marriages were sacred and for life. She asked me what the Christian view of obedience to God was, since the divorce rate was so high.

The cultural differences based on spiritual understanding were significant. It made me think and rethink many spiritual concepts in light of an international community. I suddenly found myself asking why it was that America had so many denominations that take such strong stands on a handful of verses that have little impact on our daily lives.

The thought of our petty differences continue to shake me. Unity in the church created by sharing love and grace is important and I’m a firm believer that it’s our job to love one another, not judge one another.

An American shared at breakfast one morning that, “they will know us by our love.” This was a comment of hope from a woman who watched numerous people acting out in judgment against others on the trip. It reminded me of 1 John 4:8, “The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”

I can tell you plainly that the Irish church loved me. I can also tell you that the guys I hung out with also loved me. Unfortunately, there were some who didn’t know how to love, nor did they know how to put others above themselves. The sad thing was watching others share love with them and watching them not being able to receive and accept the love. They were so entrenched in their own thoughts about how life should play out, that they missed the blessings God poured in their direction.

The love from the Ireland church was pure and I watched them overlook numerous “sins” committed by the Americans on the trip. The amount of grace they poured out to us was overwhelming, especially when I knew it wasn’t earned or deserved. They emptied themselves of every ounce of love they could squeeze out.

I was in awe of their faith and hope some day I can live up to the same precious beliefs they hold dear and true. I want to be known as a person who shares grace from the depths of my soul and I never want to be found judging others. Maybe then, someone who feels guilty or is filled with shame will find me to be a breath of fresh air in a time of need.