Facebook — A Modern Day Memoir

MemoirsI was emotionally stirred this morning, as I read seven accounts of writers experiencing the effects of having written their memoirs. The authors bared their soul to the world and received a form of validation in the process. The artful pleasures that illuminated their past were tastefully raw and revealed the human condition in a universal manner that all readers easily understood.

The one comment or point of revelation shared by all seven was that of making choices. In reducing ones life to the page, a selection of entries were decided upon. The chosen stories were filtered for entertainment value and truth. A morsel of revelation was also present. A modern day “ahha” moment, if you will.

I contemplated if I were capable of sharing the intimate parts of my private life publicly. Would I be condemned or praised for sharing my reaction from a conversation with Mrs. Van Husen, a gold medal Olympian from Germany who became a publicist for Adolph Hitler? Or, in our politically correct society would I have the courage to share the internal thoughts I debated in my childhood, while holding a woman’s swimsuit in my hands after talking with a gay neighbor?

Having grown up in the world of theatre and motion pictures, I’ve had more experiences within our liberal world than most would see in a lifetime. The stories would certainly shock the weak minded and amaze the intelligent with insights into the human condition. But, few would expect to learn, that with all the freedoms and generous offers afforded me, I chose to live a conservative life.

It’s all about choice. Not tendencies or leanings, but decisions.

We are free to Facebook what we want others to know about us. Some write too much, giving us no room to contemplate the depths of their soul. Others write little for fear they won’t be accepted. Then there are those who write only the positive, trying to make us think they are perfect, removing themselves from any form of humanity.

Facebook is like memoirs. Every entry is a choice to reveal something about ourselves. We can chose to entertain or bore our readers. We also chose how vulnerable we’re willing to be — Demonstrating our true self or creating a false image to hide behind.

The seven authors were courageous and opened my eyes to the power of revelation through vulnerable sharing. It made me wonder how many followers a person might have on Facebook if they honestly shared their thoughts and feelings. Would their numbers rise incrementally or drop rapidly into the basement? Would the person be praised for their comments this year and be haunted by it twenty years from now?

I have learned that the more tolerance community requires, the more judgmental those around us become. When the Ten Commandments guided our nation, camaraderie was present because we all had fallen short. Listening to each other’s experiences and stories gave us insights into life that helped us fight the good fight. But, today we hesitate to hear those who may disagree with our position or beliefs, for fear we may not be able to defend our perspective with persuasion and dignity.

The risk of revealing our true self is greater today than forty years ago. Yet society needs truth more than ever. Unfortunately there are few willing to risk their future in order to share elements from their dysfunctional life for the sake of humanity. Instead we are entertained by extremists who seek only attention, rather than the common good that benefits us all.

Today, the greater the spectacle the more followers. But our hearts need the truth. We need some imperfect person to remind us of our humanity, while instilling hope into our lives. We need real people to live as an open book. Then we will have the courage to decide what revelation from our life is worth sharing in our modern memoir published on Facebook.

Copyright © 2016 by CJ Powers

Story — Endow Experience with Meaning

CFD81E31-5644-4EE4-A744-32C46B021CC0Persuading a person to your perspective is ascribed to two forms of communication: argument and story. Film is considered both an argument and story. Yet, many independent filmmakers never try to argue their point to a mass audience or share a story that’s saturated in experience and meaning. They simply want to create something cool, which adds to society’s noise.

The number of independent films, both short and feature, hit its peak and started to decline last year. The main reason for the drop was due to filmmakers leaving the industry. Many cited their inability to “break in” to Hollywood, as the reason for exit. When asked what changed perspective or infused meaning they had hoped to give their audience, none were able to answer. Their response suggested they had all been a part of the noise.

One filmmaker stated strongly that he didn’t make his film to persuade the masses, but instead created it to encourage like-minded people that agreed with his philosophies and ideas. He was asked a follow up question, “What meaning did you attach to the character’s experience for the edification of the audience?” His response was, “I had lots of lessons in the film.”

Having talked to thousands of independent filmmakers, I can tell you that a person who says they’ve put lots of messages in a film, has failed to provide the audience one clear understandable message. The film becomes a conglomerate of noise.

Story is a gift that allows us to turn meaningless activities into art filled with purpose. Without purpose, the artistry of a story fails to appear. It’s only when a single purpose or vision is conformed by artistry that a memorable story survives the test of time. When watching great story, audiences catch and embrace the meaning as their own, much like watching a good friend work through a crisis to success.

If you felt the need to label the outcome, we would call it a testimonial of the main character. After the hero overcomes his greatest obstacle, he is able to testify to his success. He lived through the painful process and not only landed on his feet, but also demonstrated to the audience a solution they can implement in their lives as well.

In other words, stories that stand the test of time are those that show a main character who attaches meaning to his or her experience. It is also a story that is easily shared with the masses because of its universal appeal. Whenever meaning is attached to a character’s activities, the story is of great interest to all viewers.

One benefit of losing filmmakers who don’t endow their experiential stories with meaning is the reduction of noise in the market. The less noise producing filmmakers, the easier it is for audiences to find the filmmaker who produces great stories.

Copyright © 2016 by CJ Powers

 

Politically Correct Words Alter Friendships

© apops - Fotolia.comCommunication is critically important in our lives. Every year men attempt to control this powerful tool in order to persuade others to their perspective. For decades journalists told both sides of a story to stop any one person from gaining control over the masses. But with the new millennium came a barrage of politically correct (PC) rules in the name of what is “right” that was accepted blindly by the country.

Freedom of speech, the kind that existed when I was a kid, no longer exists.

If you make a statement today that contrasts the current PC culture, you are bound to receive a barrage of comments “punishing” you for stating something outside of what is “right.” You no longer can voice an opinion that isn’t in agreement with those who are currently in power.

This is most unfortunate, since those who saw life differently than those who were in power birthed our country’s liberation. The cool trends in media also came from those who saw life from a different perspective. In fact, someone who disagreed with our status quo introduced all of our country’s great accomplishments over the past millennium.

This new PC language has since infiltrated our friendships. For decades, a friend was someone you opened your heart to without the fear of rejection. They knew your deepest and darkest secrets, but cast no judgment. You were accepted for who you were and the positive elements of your life were celebrated.

In his book, Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words, David Whyte explains friendships in this way, “In the course of the years a close friendship will always reveal the shadow in the other as much as ourselves, to remain friends we must know the other and their difficulties and even their sins and encourage the best in them, not through critique but through addressing the better part of them, the leading creative edge of their incarnation, thus subtly discouraging what makes them smaller, less generous, less of themselves.”

The Bible is another resource that recommends the sharing of heartfelt words over PC language. The author suggests that close friends confess their sins to one another and encourage the withholding of judgment since we have all fallen short. Even more verses are aimed at lifting up our friend’s best attributes for God’s glory.

When I was a young teen, my dad loved to promote the best in us kids. He saw my charismatic stage presence and ability to perform illusions as a skill worthy of promoting. During our massive three week driving vacation, to see everything west of the Mississippi, my dad had us visit old friends who had moved away. Every visit was around a great meal, where dad nonchalantly introduced my skills of illusion for the purpose of entertaining his friends.

During that trip I made saltshakers stand on edge, bread rolls float in the air, wedding rings disappear and reappear, and spoons magically bend without anyone touching it. The entertainment value was high for all and I had a lot of fun. Not once did dad point out my faults or shortcomings.

We had a lot of fun during the days when my family was far from being politically correct. I remember a camping trip when we hit a skunk with the car. We had just comeback from a laundry mat with clean clothes in the trunk. Sharing our misery and the skunk’s scent seemed like a fun and humorous idea, so we drove around all of our friend’s campers before retiring for the night. We woke up the next morning and found a sign posted above our camper that read: “Stinky Hollow.”

Our friends and family were always able to laugh off our failures and promote our best attributes before the days of PC language. Today, few friends and family members are willing to risk comments or activities that might be perceived as politically incorrect, creating an atmosphere of hesitation, less sharing, and little revealing of who we really are.

Facebook tends to encourage the same shallowness. Rarely will someone present anything negative about themselves for fear that their next employer might read about it and decide not to hire them. And the positive posts are so pristine that no one can really live on the pedestals of half-truths that they seem to balance on.

Our freedom to speak our mind and reveal our true self was greatly altered by the introduction of PC language. Few people have the guts to buck the system in order to maintain their own personal freedom, especially once its no longer vogue to believe things that are not accepted by those in power.

These choices force us into thinly veiled friendships that are temporary and judgmental. We couch our words instead of boldly stating what we really believe. And, our careful words blind others from seeing our soul, our true self. The real person that we are is sidelined. People only see a manipulated PC projected version of us.

It’s no wonder that there is a growing desire deep inside each of us that longs to be known. We desire to be accepted in spite of our shortcomings. We want to be loved for who we really are, not who we appear to be on the surface. We are significant, but can only shine in a friendship when we let go of what those in power think is “right” and we live based on who we are and what we know is right.

Let’s be real friends.

Copyright © 2015 by CJ Powers