The best artists are the ones who make themselves vulnerable to their audience. From within their choices comes a precious gem of humanity that rewards the audience. They receive a generous gift in the moment that elevates them beyond the human condition, filled with hope.

That same vulnerability that blesses each fan can also sew seeds of insecurity within the artist, rendering him powerless to move on to his next emotionally risky project. But I’ve learned, albeit the hard way, that the artist can deflate his insecurity by remembering three things.

I recently finished my first novel, STEELE BLUE. It was a labor of love that took hundreds of hours. While I’ve written short stories and “how to” books, none have left me more vulnerable than the novel. My very heart and soul was placed inside of its pages.

It’s true and easy for me to tell due to the flood of insecurity that ragged through my bones within hours of launching a Kickstarter program. To release the book I need to raise funds for an editor, photographer, model and illustrator, which is a humbling experience in of itself. By taking the risk of raising funds for my art, I opened my heart to fears that I’ve never experienced before.

I mean think about it: What would happen to my heart if I put something so meaningful to me out into the world and no one cares?

Thankfully, I remembered something a wise man shared with me when I was 12-years-old. He said, “Whenever you put your heart out into the world, make sure you know who you are, live a life of integrity based on who you are, and understand that you are to please God alone, not man.”

KNOW WHO YOU ARE

Lisa England is a friend and a brilliant artist. While she continues to work on refining her craft, she has insights that bring extreme clarity to the artists that surround her. One of the reasons people flock to her is because Lisa’s natural output always helps those standing within the same room. I’m speaking from experience.

Yesterday, Lisa and I connected on the phone with little time to reminisce. But in true Lisa style, she salted a few words of encouragement into my life by sharing how all of her clients attract audiences with little effort after they learn who they really are.

My sixth grade teacher stated something similar. He always said that when we know who we are and learn to appreciate it, we hold a confidence that no one can remove.

LIVE WITH INTEGRITY

“It’s okay for me to be me,” was a phrase I verbalized numerous times during my divorce a decade ago. I was giving myself permission to be who I knew myself to be. Yes, including the living out of my flaws.

When I hold confidence in who I was made to be, I quickly gain more confidence every time I’m honest with myself and others. When I stop trying to hide an aspect of who I am from certain people, I blossom more as the person that I am. It’s all about being true to ones self.

My dad grew up as a left-handed person during a time when society didn’t provide any compensation like left-handed notebooks for students. He had to turn the notebook upside down to take notes without rubbing his wrist against the metal coil binding – taking ridicule from fellow students.

His mind was filled with creative thoughts, as he lived a left-handed life while watching right-handers. But to fit in and avoid ridicule, he had to withhold certain elements of who he was and he couldn’t share his cool ideas. As a young boy, I watched him put his creative self out into the world and get trampled on, slashing his hopes and dreams into oblivion. This resulted in very few people knowing my real dad, but I knew him.

Over the years, I watched his eyes dull and his dreams fade. Then, I noticed the spark in his eyes when I started to reveal my creativity. The expression on his face was of joy every time I worked on a play, shot a film, or shared a new story that I had created. He came to life again, as I took the risk to live who I was out loud. The reward was great for both of us, but I knew that I had ideas he hadn’t considered that might one day displease him.

PLEASE GOD, NOT MAN

There is something comforting about creating things for God alone and not for man. It makes sense when I consider that He made me a specific way to create the specific things I make – And, all for His pleasure.

He’s like my dad, who looked on all my creative ventures with a sparkle in his eye. I couldn’t do anything wrong when I was truly being me. I remember a month long summer vacation my family took when I was a sophomore in high school. We drove a large loop to see all the sights west of the Mississippi.

During the trip, we met up with many of my dad’s friends who had moved away years earlier. Whenever we had dinner together, dad would always shift the conversation to my abilities of filmmaking and illusions. That was my cue to perform slight of hand at the dinner table, tell a quick story as I tore and restored a napkin, or made a saltshaker defy gravity.

Pleasing the people I met made my dad happy, but I soon learned that what made me happy was creating a story that would change a person’s perspective to something more healthy or performing in a way that brought encouragement to the person living a mundane life. It didn’t take me long to realize that I was wired to create things that revealed the hope God wanted in people’s lives.

Whenever I created something that revealed His heart, my confidence was elevated. Not because I was getting better at my craft, which I was, but because I was focusing on doing what He wired me to do. I was doing it to please Him.

There is a significant amount of confidence that comes when a person knows who they are, lives accordingly, and does what honors God. And, no matter how many times I get knocked down, reminding myself of those three things immediately starts deflating the insecurity that has snuck into my life.

Copyright © 2015 by CJ Powers

I directed a PSA for the Illinois Heart Rescue last week. Due to budget and time constraints, we faced certain challenges that were overcome because of the team’s love of the craft and art form. Not only did we capture some award winning shots, but we also sculpted a piece that will reach thousands of people through theaters and sports arenas by the end of the summer.

There is something very rewarding about delivering a multi-cultural film that will touch the lives of so many people. Especially with a valuable message that impacts all of us regardless of religion, race, or economic position. It was a true honor for me to direct the picture and not only did I have lots of fun making it, I also learned something valuable about what raises and depletes my energy levels.

I’m a director through and through. It’s in my DNA and circulating within my blood stream. It’s an essential core part of my very make up. It’s been a part of who I am since I had my first film experience at 11 months old. And, it allows me the opportunity to do what few other occupations get to do – Create something from nothing.

The shooting day started with a long commute to the north side of Chicago. Due to heavier than usual traffic I expected to be fried by the time I arrived, but it didn’t play out that way. The two hours were easily bearable, as the anticipation of playing on set overpowered any possible drain. I arrived with more energy than when I started the trip. In fact, by the time I got home in the evening, I had even more energy from the fun we had making our work of art.

I’ve come to realize that when a person does something that is based on who they are, they are energized by it. It fills them up to overflowing and gifts them with an abundance that can be shared with others. All with little effort, as it comes from their overflow.

After the shoot, I visited my mother and sister. Linda asked if the shoot had been that day, since she could see my “glow.” Several other people recognized that same look or appearance in the days following and made mention of it. One woman from the set said that it was fun watching me in my element.

Please understand that living out life in my element doesn’t make me the “Michael Jordan” of the film world, but it does mean I had just as much fun filming as he had playing in the NBA. Some missteps still happened, just as missed shots did – But the team’s love of filmmaking overcame all the challenges we faced.

The most notable challenge was created from my mistake. During rehearsal the night before the shoot, I worked the leads through the choppy shooting process that we would face due to time and budget constraints. My directorial choice made the actors feel uncomfortable and nothing seemed to be working. I was failing, but I didn’t get down on myself, as there was overflowing joy in my life from living in my element.

Thankfully, our protagonist verbalized her discomfort and it dawned on me that the actors needed a continuity run-through prior to working the segmented sequence. It was an ahha moment for me and I was extremely thankful that she made the comment. We worked the continuity run and my face lit up with amazement, as both leads gave a perfect performance.

The morning of the shoot, I asked the actors who they were and received great character development descriptions and backstory. I then, remembering my blunder from the night before, worked warm-up exercises into the blocking and then initiated a continuity run-through. The next steps were child’s play as the actors perfectly lived out their characters in the necessary choppy shooting sequence.

The executive producer was on set for the initial shots and mused about how blown away she was by our attention to detail. She also commented on how astonished she was in realizing that everything that seemed so natural and real was actually scripted.

The cast and crew did a wonderful job and we all had a lot of fun.

There’s no other occupation that I can think of that brings such joy, while creating a story that will impact so many. I find myself in awe every time I direct such meaningful stories and hope to make many more pictures that will impact our world for the good.

Copyright © 2015 by CJ Powers