The dating world has changed and many single women are forced to endure some of the cheesiest pick up lines ever. The funny thing is that most interested single men don’t realize their first comments count as a pick up line. Nor do they seem to be aware that their first four minutes with a woman sets the tone for the rest of the relationship.
This is not to put added pressure on the man who can barely lift his hopes that he might land a date, but it’s the harsh reality that people make quick judgments when they meet people. Everyone puts more weight than we’d like to admit in that first impression. The adage of not judging a book by it’s cover should hold true with dating as well, but we all know that we do judge books by their cover appeal.
Here are some of the latest Pick up lines I’ve over heard.
“Do I need to call security guards over to keep you from jumping all over me?”
“I’m in a hypnotic state after looking into your rich blue eyes.”
“What do you say we get this baby past a friendship and see how far it will take us.”
“I’d ask you to come back to my place, but I think we need to slow this show down a bit.”
I cringed when I heard these statements. And no, I don’t think they were in jest, but even if it were in jest… I’ve always wondered what runs through a woman’s mind after one of these lines. I can’t imagine it being anything worse than thinking about where the nearest waste can is in case she can’t hold down her last meal.
Several women who meet men online told me the first lines are worse than the samples I shared. One woman said that most guys say some of the stupidest things in hopes of being cute or humorous. Some comments were down right offensive to the women I spoke with.
To help the guy who typically goes down in flames, I have a few suggestions.
1. Introduce yourself by giving your name and raising a sincere question about a shared or like interest. If you don’t know any of her interests, then raise it about the circumstance you are currently in. If she likes you or likes to talk, you will get a generous response and your conversation will continue. If she isn’t interested, don’t take her silence as a mark against you, as it just might be her fear of strangers.
2. Hold back from talking about her beauty. She already knows that men are visual and the fact that you approached her gives the understanding that you like her looks. She’s more interested in finding out if you want to learn about how she thinks or if you just wanted to get a closer look and drool.
3. Listen carefully. Women send signals all the time and will tell you immediately if she desires the conversation to be extended or if she is just showing grace and letting you down easily. Keep in mind that rejection is a part of the game and if you deal with it graciously, you will soon be attracting other women who appreciate a man who understands.
Being a people person, I tend to start up conversations with men and women alike. If the men don’t want to talk, they tend to turn away and not say anything. If a woman has little interest, she will send numerous signals before she shuts you down, hoping you can take a hint before she has to pull out the 2X4.
When in a group setting, women send numerous other types of signals, letting you know if you’re too old for them or aren’t dressed in the style they like. I watched one 40 something man walk up to a 20 something woman and ask her about the Kindle she was reading. They both shared a common interest in paperless books that might have come across as them hitting it off.
However, the woman was brilliant in how she sent him additional signals suggesting that their technology moment was just about technology, in case he had a hidden agenda. She pointed out that she had started reading her Kindle when she graduated from college last year.
He was an intelligent man to respond to her comment by pointing out that his daughter had just graduated from college last May, which brought her relief – They both had acknowledged that the conversation was just about their love for technology. Everything had been communicated about their age difference and no one lost face.
I’m confident that women are just looking for a man who will properly introduce himself and strike up a normal conversation. Anything more puts him into the history books as a failed pick up line artist.
Ladies, am I right or wrong about this one?