The New Power Couple

I have a friend who dreams of finding the right guy. She longs to be part of a team that helps others and makes a difference in life. It’s her lifelong goal to be half of a power couple.

This is a common desire for both men and women in the early stages of healthy dating. We always want to dream of our future and picture our teammate helping to make sure our dreams come true. And most of us want to reciprocate.

But in many marriages, one of the two individuals bring a critical eye to the relationship. Most of the time the couple takes turns being critical of the other.

For instance, one might be a neat freak and the other sloppy. The sloppy person gets criticized in hopes that they will one day mature and pick up after themselves. But alas, that person has a mental aversion to putting things away.

The table turns on the couple when it comes to finances. The person that leaves their socks on the floor happens to be great at investments and has doubled the couple’s money every seven years. But, the neat freak spends every extra dollar they get.

If you want to turn your marriage into a power couple or dream team, consider these four steps to empower a healthy marriage.

Affirm Away the Critical

We can never change the other person. But the more we affirm the right actions, the more likely they will choose to do similar things in the future. When we’re critical of each other, we want to spend less time together. But when we hear our spouse praise our actions that make the marriage work, we tend to repeat those behaviors more often.

I did something similar with my kids as they grew up. I’d keep a keen eye on them so the moment they did something helpful for the family, I’d bath them in praise. That positive affirmation improved our family. Everyone wanted to see the family succeed.

This team atmosphere empowered us to do some remarkable things. We made a radio drama that aired on WGN Radio as a part of a family competition. where we received an all-expenses-paid vacation to Disneyland. We made an animated cartoon and our family story got published in a Chicago newspaper. We also did more local things including building a cardboard boat and competed in a boat regatta. And, we took first place for most original float one fourth of July.

Brag on Your Spouse in Public

Every time you praise your spouse in public, you strengthen your marriage. That positive energy lifts our spouse and solidifies in everyone’s mind that you two are a team. This works even better when your spouse overhears your comments.

Great compliments are about your spouse’s character traits, actions, and giftings. The key is to be authentic and not force the topic. The positive comment must fit the conversation. If it comes out of the blue, it seems disingenuous.

Back when I was married, my wife had a goal of writing a magazine article for a major magazine. She was a wonderful writer and the competition was intense. When she got her breakthrough, I understood what a joyous moment that was.

I couldn’t help but share it with friends and throw her a surprise autograph party. I got enough copies of the national magazine featuring her article so she could sign a copy for everyone. While she didn’t like being in the spotlight, everyone knew that I was proud of her.

Care for Your Spouse’s Overzealous Strengths

I was once taught that our giftings are both a blessing and a curse. For instance, the person gifted with perseverance might come across as stubborn. We love that their perseverance will help us all to succeed, but we can’t stand it when they won’t take a break at times.

Some of my friends love my diverse background and eclectic knowledge. But there are times when they can see my mental wheels turning and wish that I’d turn off my brain for a time. Some have gotten upset to the point of calling me a know-it-all.

A great spouse and team player would signal me when my sharing gets over the top. After all, I can get caught up in the moment and over-share at times. A good teammate can help us navigate our zealousness.

Divvy-up Bad Chores

In all relationships, we learn that both individuals hate certain chores. At that point, we have to discuss who will take on what issues so our couple-ness can prosper.

I remember a time when I was married, my wife made it clear that she was not able to pick up after the dog barfed. She could handle dirty diapers, but animal vomit that turned her green.

At that moment, we decided that I’d be the primary cleaner when one of our dogs got sick. In turn, she wanted to be the primary diaper changer. Over our 23-year marriage, we both handle both types of clean-up. When we were both available, we took care of our primary functions to keep us moving forward.

Build Your Power Couple Dream Team

Keep an eye out to find your spouse doing something right and give them praise. When given an open door in conversation, take time to brag about your spouse in public.

Don’t let your spouse’s overzealous passions separate you. Instead, keep them in a healthy zone using signals. And, learn what chores your spouse can’t stand and lighten their load by picking up what you can handle.

By focusing on these things daily, you’ll guide your couple’s dream team into a new world of leadership. Many people are desperate for a healthy marriage role model couple. It’s time for you to practice these steps and help those around you do the same.

Copyright © 2021 by CJ Powers

When Joy Bubbles Over

I’ve had the opportunity to observe numerous people that thrive when they have fun. Their lighthearted soul is playful and filled with imagination. Many times, innovation springs forth from those delightful and well-hearted souls.

We all appreciate their results of tinkering and fooling around in life, as we often benefit from their creations. Most of the tools we use in daily life were created during a fun-filled moment. Even our entertainment was sealed in fun.

So why are there so many who want to bring an end to the creative person’s fun?

I remember visiting a church where everyone had a forlorn look about them. Their countenance displayed hardships and burdens. It was an unpleasant visit. But before I left, I felt compelled to ask the reason for a mood worth lamenting.

The gentleman told me that everyone was filled with joy on the inside, something that no one could take away from them.

I knew he was lying, but he didn’t know that he was lying.

You see, when joy is present it can’t sit idle. It must bubble up and spill out into life. The joyful person always infects those around them with fun, laughter, and warmth. It’s not possible to contain such joy.

Over the past 18-months, many have lived with a fear hanging over them. Any hope mentioned during the previous administration was shot down. Others attempting to bring humor to our absurd cultural changes were silenced by Cancel Culture.

Big tech blatantly closed thousands of accounts that shared words of hope, joy, and humor. They stated it was not factual or that the shared words could harm people. They silenced any who didn’t agree with their fear-based narrative.

And yet, at the local level, creative joy-filled individuals found ways to make their neighbors smile.

It’s time for our leaders to put fun and love, front and center. We need people who will allow their inner joy to bubble up around us and quench our aching hearts.

During my playful moments, I’ve considered creating a streaming show that is all about fun. Sure, there’d be some great insights and take-aways shared, but it would be done in an entertaining manner. I wouldn’t want anyone to leave without a smile.

Since many of you have followed some of my experiences, how about letting me know your thoughts on what this show could be like. I’d love to hear from you and consider any fun idea that pops into your mind.

Together, we can impact those around us and create a new national agenda filled with fun, love, and hope.

Copyright © 2021 by CJ Powers

Colors of Character—Review

Have you heard of Steve Skipper?

Most people haven’t, but they have seen and appreciated his work.

Skipper is a prolific artist who is best known for his sports paintings. The cost of his art didn’t wait until he was dead to rise in value. He is very much alive and the demand for his work is so high that his paintings now go for thousands of dollars each.

Before you admire him due to his rising popularity, consider that being a celebrity is a small part of who he is. Skipper’s life has transformed in front of a growing crowd of fans. Not because of his great work, but because of several miracles that touched his life

We learn about Skipper’s previous life in the Crip gang. His life is one of the few that was able to get out alive.
Skipper’s paintings include topics of sports, civil-rights, equestrian, portraiture, and contemporary Christian. He shattered the barriers of race and education.

In fact, he had a teacher that pulled him to the side one day knowing his abilities needed to be fanned into flames. She provided him painting materials out of her own pocket to give him a shot at what he did best in life.

His work hangs in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, College Football Hall of Fame, Alabama Sports Hall of Fame, and International Sports Halls of Fame. Other locations include the Paul W Bryant Museum and the Lyndon B Johnson Presidential Library and Museum.

He was honored with unveilings at Chelsea Piers in NYC, the MGM Grand and Monte Carlo in Las Vegas, and Millennium Gate Museum in Atlanta, Georgia.

But enough about the legend. I want to share some thoughts about the documentary.

The film was a low-budget project with a director that attempted to be artsy near the beginning of the film. Unfortunately, Chris Danielson couldn’t compete against Skipper’s breathtaking art. He would’ve been better off showing more images of Skipper’s original art.

Aside from the cutesy attempts, the opening story intrigued the audience. They wanted to invest more time learning about this man. His life story was as colorful as his artwork. In fact, I could’ve watched him for a few more hours.

Well, except for the third act when the film shifted its focus from Skipper to Dr. Martin Luther King.

While I admire how Dr. King changed our society with his preaching, I wanted to learn more about Skipper. I wanted to learn about how he affected Dr. King’s life—inspiring him to write his “I Have A Dream” speech. That’s right, Skipper facilitated some downtime for Dr. King so he could relax enough to write that speech.

But instead of me learning more about Skipper, the story shifted too far over to Dr. King. The film barely returned its focus to Skipper before the documentary closed out. This unacceptable shift in focus from Skipper soured my delight in director Danielson.

Danielson did capture Skipper’s attempt at explaining how God moves his hand when he paints. I was fascinated by his expression of how the Spirit of God uses him in every stroke.

If you’re interested in hearing a great story about a down-to-earth man touched by God, this is the picture to watch. In spite of the documentary’s faults, it was worth my time. By the end of the film, I too wanted to know how Skipper stays in tune with God’s gentle whisper of art.

The film is currently available on digital media and DVD at Best Buy, Fandango, Apple TV, and Amazon. They also have a version available for church screenings. A discussion guide is also available for group settings and family discussions.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in hopes that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

#ColorsofCharacterMIN #MomentumInfluencerNetwork

© 2021 by CJ Powers