The potential in every person is staggering. Every day we live by limits, rules and the infamous glass ceiling. Yet, motivational speakers and preachers continue to tell us that we are limitless in our life choices, and can do or become anything we want. The catch is simply letting go of the things in our past that hold us back.

The movie Limitless gets rid of the hard work of diving deep into our past or focusing on our daily confessions that guide our mind into opening up greater potential. The film uses a simple clear pill to expand the capabilities of Eddie Morra (Bradley Cooper). Unfortunately, the simple answers are always temporary and hold consequences.

The character of Van Loon (Robert De Niro), points out that those who come into power without having some years of experience scraping to get ahead eventually make foolish mistakes that lead to their own demise. This is a kin to lottery winners that end up without assets and further in debt two years after their win.

The movie took off at the box office in its opening day Friday, catching numerous theaters off guard. The theater I attended placed the film on one of its smaller screens, not expecting the packed house. Today it was moved to a larger screen to accommodate tonight’s showings.

What surprised me was that the theater manager must not have realized a film about the human condition and our desire to be the best we can be would attract an audience. It made me wonder if he just comes to work and does the least to get by or if he truly tries to excel or give his best.

We all know what its like for a person to live out their passion like the Michael Jordans of basketball or the Tiger Woods of golf. We also know what its like to work with a person who just punches a clock and never fully engages in moving the business forward. Not to mention those who push companies backwards.

Seldom do we look at ourselves to determine what we were made for. Personal skill assessments rarely happen, as we prefer to live in denial than face the fact that we don’t meet society’s need for unattainable perfection. In fact, we might even scare ourselves during those times when we start exploring our own limits and realize that there is no glass ceiling.

I’m always amazed to hear stories about a dying child in another state having compassion on a kid laid up in a hospital bed and giving him a pillow pet. This is especially true when others hear of it and join in donating thousands more. Clearly, he wasn’t old enough or healthy enough to know he had a glass ceiling in his life to stop such practices.

It forces me to realize that the only thing I can’t do is the thing I won’t do. It’s a choice that only I can make. And, logically speaking, we all get to make this type of choice every day of our lives. It’s simple, really – We are limitless. Each of us can do whatever we want. Some will follow a heartfelt call in their lives, while others just do what feels right. And then, there will be those few that determine to do nothing – Something my personality won’t allow me.

So, with your limitless abilities ready for action, I can’t help but wonder what you’ll do next. Well, except for maybe sharing with me what you plan to do in the comment section below. After all, I’d love to watch you succeed.

For years, Best-in-Class consultants used a drill down technique known as the 5 Ws of Consulting. The practice of asking the client a “why” question five times in a row resulted in a deeper understanding of the potential root cause and often revealed 2-3 additional areas where the consultant could bring solutions to bare. The only drawback was the emotional response given by many clients who tended to be defensive.

Consultants returning to their offices after using such a systematic approach of discovery were seen as heroes by their peers and executives. They were praised for their ability to unearth additional opportunities that typically led to contract extensions. Unfortunately, the celebrations would include numerous jokes about the defensiveness of the client due to his or her previous decisions being pulled into the spotlight of reason.

Psychologists have learned that the client’s defensiveness might not have been generated by their bad choices being exposed, but rather from the knee jerk reaction that “why” questions generate.

The client-consultant relationship can be viewed in the same manner as a marriage or significant relationship. Everyone is familiar with the feelings that surge through our veins when a significant other asks us “why” we did something.

The mere question culturally suggests that the person’s decision was wrong and the person asking is attempting to understand what led to the poor choice – Generating instant defensiveness. Communication experts agree that asking a “why” question puts a wall up between the client and consultant, demanding additional diplomacy in order to convince the client that the consultant is really on their side.

Efforts to help the client understand that the outcome is in their best interest require a certain level of coddling. The amount of energy used to turn the negative situation around is staggering. Depending on the expert asked, it takes 7 touch points to neutralize the cultural reaction and 11 to overcome it. This is only achieved by the consultant’s ability to smooth things over. However, it begs the question, “Why ask why questions?”

Top communicators in the entertainment industry and family psychology practices have learned that a person can drill down in a more comfortable manner by asking “what” questions. The mere replacement of the word “what” changes the cultural dynamics developed over decades of accusatory messages. In fact, it goes a step further by making the client feel like the consultant is coming along side of them to help resolve their dilemma.

Framing a “what” question requires a shift in perspective, a patient consultant, and a desire to formulate good questions over the first one that comes to mind. Asking, “Why did you decide to waive steps three and four in the process?” will certainly cause the person to be defensive. Asking, “What about the situation or process led you to waive steps three and four?” causes the person to focus on the problem at hand, not their decision.

It’s all about coming along side to collaborate in troubleshooting the situation. “What” questions shift the focus onto the problem needing review, while “why” questions put the focus on the decision maker. The good news is that “what” questions not only bring about the same drill down potential that reveals additional consulting opportunities, but it also avoids invoking defensiveness based on how our culture trained us to react.

Only top consultants are able to put aside the first question that pops into their mind and replace it with a good “what” question before they speak. And, while top consultants are typically more suited for diplomacy and tact, they find themselves using those skills less often with the implementation of “what” questions during their discovery process.

Those consultants that believe people matter and results count, will add “what” questions to their tool belt.

Copyright © 2011 By CJ Powers

I hung out with my friend Dennis last night and the conversation took a deep dive revealing an aspect of me that I didn’t want to admit. I was frustrated with being under challenged in parts of my life. I was bored functioning at a level well beneath my upper limits.

This morning I reflected back on the conversation and had an ah-ha moment. It was the type that screenwriters adore. The simple, yet poignant moments that transform character driven movies into award winning films became obvious to me. I finally understood why desperation and frustration make excellent components for telling a story on screen – And, in life.

Understanding my viewpoint starts with the premise or definition I use to compose a character. Simply put, frustration is created when a character holds back from being who they really are and desperation surfaces when a character tries to be someone they’re not.

While I’m no psychologist, I’ve observed many people who get frustrated from what is referred to as blocked goals. The movie Anger Management suggested that those blocked goals, or times when people hold back, lead to anger issues or uncontrollable outbursts – Conflict that writers love.

While in life we want to manage our frustrations before they turn into anger, screenwriters want to inflate the frustration to drive the film through conflict. Along the same lines, creating a character that tries to hold back from being who he is in order to get along with others is the perfect formula for intense dramatic scenes.

There is a story behind everyone who is holding back from living out his or her potential. Most of it can be traced back to some fear of loss. I’ve seen this in an executive who lost his friends when he became a part of the Fortune 100 elite. While some say it comes with the territory, I question if he had the right friends to begin with. Regardless, the loss was great and painful.

Can you imagine what our lives would look like if everyone stepped up to their potential?

That would be easier to accomplish if there weren’t so many people trying to step up to be something they’re not. The world seems full of desperate people trying to make something of themselves in areas they really don’t fit into. This is readily evident when watching the losers perform in the first few painful weeks of American Idol.

My sister and I got together for dinner recently and decided to watch the singing hopefuls. There was a clear distinction between the desperate that wanted everyone to think they were a singer and the quiet confidence of those who owned the talent. Unfortunately, there were tens of thousands who were desperate and only a few dozen who had the skill and charisma.

When looking closely into someone’s life or developing a realistic character, the goal is to find out what is at the core of who they are. Some times it surfaces when they aren’t thinking about it – Those moments when it slips out. I’m speaking about those core personal elements that cause them to be who they are when no one is looking.

Do you stop, or not, at a stop sign in a desolate place with no one around for miles?

I actually stop. Well, it would be more of a rolling stop, but I’m just not capable of running the sign.

When asked who people think I am, most say that I’m a communicator. While the word “creativity” would be a part of the explanation, the person would try to describe me based on the setting in which he or she saw me.

In the Fortune 100 world, people talk kindly about my presentation skills and high business acumen. In the speaking circuit, individuals talk about my life experiences and my ability to share simple stories that help them relate and apply the ideas to life. And, in the film world, people talk about my ability to write and develop entertaining stories out of thin air. But, in all cases, everyone agrees that I’m a communicator.

So, the greatest way to frustrate me is take away my ability or venue to communicate. The opposite is also true, the next time you see me frustrated, you might want to suggest I talk about it or journal – Putting me back into a communication mode. I was never built to be silent, although there are times when it’s prudent.

For those who are desperate, most are chasing after something that they aren’t because they haven’t slowed down long enough to learn about themselves. It takes a significant amount of alone time to understand what’s at the root of our hearts. This is not to be confused with loneliness, which causes some to avoid alone time.

One of my friends was desperate to become a pastor, but never took the time to find out what was at the core of his heart. Twenty years later, he realized that being a pastor wasn’t for him. He had confused the positive reinforcements he got for being a good listener with his shared religious rhetoric in attempting to direct people in a better way of life. It wasn’t until he caught on to what he wasn’t that he was actually able to encourage people in away that they could receive it and benefit from his comments.

No one would argue that Tiger Woods is a golfer or Michael Jordan a basketball player. And, we probably would all agree that neither one was a baseball player even though one took to the game for several painful months. However, in keeping with my definition, we might agree that Jordan was frustrated during his retirement because he wasn’t playing basketball and desperate to get involved in some kind of sport that led him to baseball. There is a good character driven movie somewhere in that part of his life.

The best way to create dramatic scenes in a film is to block your character’s goal or to have her purposely hold back her gut response. And, the best way to reduce the dramas in life is to unblock our personal goals by being who we are. As for me, I’m going to find some new challenges in life that will expand my ability to be me.